Ways to Start an Assignment

This is how I'm getting myself to start my assignment. Whoop whoop.

- I have started by purposefully going on MSN and telling people about how much I am procrastinating. They tend to be all "DO YOUR ASSIGNMENT BITCH" and prompt me so many times that I end up working.

- Close all tabs except what is needed. And maybe have some downloads going in the background. I mean, that's not /too/ distracting

- No music.

- I have the desktop on, and that makes plenty of noise, but usually I'm working on the laptop alone which leaves the room in silence. When this happens, I end up finding a site that plays white noise or a site that plays the sound of rain. Either helps me concentrate.

- As a way of convincing myself that I'm still sorta having free time, I end up playing with a bunch of my little Shimeji things on screen. Right now I have Romano crawling around because I'm kinda maybe in love with him~

- Vanilla green tea. It doesn't taste amazing or anything, but it smells really nice and seems to help me concentrate. Plus it makes me feel warm and, you know, it's cold right now.

- The Shimeji really are excellent. You can mess around with them while thinking and, when you're typing, you don't need to focus on them at all. They're just sorta half-there, if that makes any sense.

- Stuffed toys for cuddling when not typing.

- The shortcut for GTA needs to be visible on my desktop so I can remember that, once I'm finished, I can happily go run over a bunch of random civilians if that makes me feel better.

- Sims 2 is good as well, in case I feel like building instead of destroying.

- My Pokewalker is looking at me. It's like "yeah you can walk 10,000 steps a day but you can't even write 2000 words. You fail" and it makes me feel bad.

- Closing Blogger. The final step before working on an assignment.

Wish me luck, people. =3

Good Enough

I have 1082 words for my English and it only comes in at 6 minutes long.
It was supposed to be 7 minutes, minimum. Oh well. Maybe I'll pretend to trip over half way through and spend a ridiculously long amount of time trying to get back up again to continue speaking.

I have this chronic fear of public speaking. If an assignment is meant to be 5 minutes long, I'll write it out to be around 6 minutes long because I know I'll panic on the day. And then on the day I'll only just make it over 5 minutes. I rush so I can get off stage quicker, I guess. I don't know if I expect people to laugh or to try and trip me or what, but something makes me panic every time.

Yeah, I kinda expect something like this to happen

Back in Primary school I was the vice captain of my grade. I had to speak every week on assembly, and I had no issue whatsoever. What happened? Oh well. My 12 year old self is crying at my failness, but that's okay.

I don't want to work anymore. My brain is fried. I just want to start memorising so I can go read/watch Hetalia and Higurashi (I do like anime that start with H, it would seem). I need to revise my favourite characters list for Hetalia. So here we go.

Hetalia faves:
1. Romano
2. England
3. Spain.
4. Denmark (for the hat, pretty much)
5. America
I have a love/hate thing for North Italy. I sometimes adore him, but sometimes I think "oh Italy, you don't deserve everything you've got =_="

Also, Higurashi faves:
1. Rena
2. Keiichi
3. Rika
4. Hanyuu
5. Shion
I don't like Mion much. And Satoshi is cute, but... I don't like his personality. So shoot me.

I really love gif images right now. Here, have another one.

Is it weird that I could watch America doing backflips all day? Here's a larger version if you're into that ♥

Dropping From A to B (And A Direct Rant)

I've always been an A student. My entire life. In primary/elementary school I was the nerd (then again, I went to a pretty bad public school. You were smart for knowing multiplication in grade 7). Seriously, I was the dorky, smart kid in my year group, pretty much. By grade 6 it became rather evident that my maths abilities were lacking, but I was still getting some of the higher marks.
Now I'm in grade 12. The hardest, most important year of my school life (excluding uni, but you know) and yet I cannot bring myself to care. I mean, the whole not-caring thing never affected me that much. I stopped trying in year 8. It just never showed through my marks until recently. Last year my English grades ended up settling on A- and in both Music and Drama my grades have dropped to a B... possibly lower in Drama. Well, definitely lower. But that's fine.

Really, I don't need an OP. There are plenty of opportunities for those lazy ass kids like me out there. It'd be nice to have some motivation to work though, because while it isn't the be-all-and-end-all of my life, a good OP will help me greatly. Obviously. Well, obviously for us Aussies. I don't know how school works in other countries, nor do I really care.

Eh, but I digress. I'm finding it so difficult to focus. It's funny, because I don't think I'm stupid. Just... unmotivated. I have no interest in Brechtian Theatre, so my Drama assignment is... you know, on hiatus. Now, if you check out my Japanese study, once I start I will continue learning for hours. Give me something I have an interest in and I'll take it on board with great fervour. Give me something I dislike, and I'll kinda forget about it. For a long, long time.
I'm planning on doing my Drama assignment in the morning, even though it's due tomorrow. Maybe I'll set my alarm for three am? I should be able to get it done then...

Anyway, I'd say I'm stressed out but I'm truly not. There are times when it'll just hit me that Oh my God I am doing so, so badly but give me an hour and I'll go back to being relatively indifferent. I'm more likely to ride things out and hope for the best than actually get off my behind and do something productive.
Stress isn't a big issue for me. Never really has been.
Still, I'm quite annoyed at a bunch of things at the moment... and while I still think 'stress' is the wrong word, I'll have you know that these things have been playing on my mind a lot. And yeah, it's getting me down. My grades being one of those things (I don't deserve an A, but I still feel horribly disappointed when I discover how badly I'm doing) as well as my lack of motivation. Other stuff being family issues (though things are pretty calm currently), money issues (no one wants to employ me), uni issues (how I'm going to know Japanese well enough for uni next year, I do not know) and friendship issues.

Warning: Rant. (TL;DR: I like you but if you don't act like a friend soon I'm going to give up)
Just so you know, if I say I want to be your friend. I like you a lot at some point, it means that I really bloody like you and I'd like to keep our friendship the way it is, mmkay? I thought that should be bleeding obvious. Being ignored is never fun, especially when you have no idea what you've done wrong. Right now, I feel like I must have been an annoyance, or perhaps just, I dunno, totally unliked... Which sucks, because the situation was reversed only a few months ago and I went out of my way to fix things. To explain that I cared, that all our friends cared, and that this person is (was?) important to us.

Goddamn, seems I wrote that sappy, lame, truthful paragraph to you back then for no reason, because you seem pretty happy to just pretend I no longer exist now.
And you know, it hurts. Quite a bit. But that's alright. I'll get through. Ride things out, wait for everything to look up. It's how I deal with everything else, right? It's how I've dealt with our friendship in the past, and it's always worked before.
I'll wait for you to act like a proper friend. If you don't, then I won't bother to confront you in person, nor will I attempt to keep in contact with you once we're out of school. I never expected you to stay in contact with me anyway. If you do start talking to me again, I'll act the same way I always have. I love your attention, I love our conversations. But I'm not going to exert any effort trying to keep you around. It's too difficult, it's not fair and I've never been one to fight for a lost cause.
I'm fine with writing this, because I know you won't read it. You don't care enough to check my blogs and you won't ask me what's wrong. God forbid you actually show some emotion for once.

...I hope you prove me wrong. I doubt you will.

It Took A Lot To Not Name This Entry After Rebecca Black

I was going to write something along the lines of 'party and party and YEAH' or 'fun fun fun fun' as the title, but I shall refrain from doing that. Besides, I've already used both of those in previous posts.
(Also, I will admit to not knowing what words to capitalise and what words to leave entirely in lower case when writing titles. Whoops. Guess I'll just capitalise the entire thing and hope nobody notices).

It took two hours, but I managed to write 900 words on a book I skimmed over, analysing it with a literary theory that I don't fully understand. I am so proud of myself.
Who the hell decided I should go with formalism? Oh wait, that was me. Well then. That was a stupid idea, wasn't it?
Now to go finish my Drama assignment. Aw dang. That's going to suck.

This house is great with bugs and creepy crawlies. Gradually, a family of baby spiders spread out across the ceiling. I was typing away happily (or not so happily) when I just so happened to look up. They were both above and in front of me. It was quite creepy, but I couldn't be bothered moving so I just sort of... kept chilling with them. They seemed friendly enough, and only one was walking around. Perhaps the others were sleeping? Dad just came in and sprayed them for me so I have taken refuge in the other, less awesome lounge room. =3

The tiredness is slowly kicking in. My eyes feel kinda heavy but my brain seems to be alert still. I think today will be hell at school, but I'll live. Probably. Unless I get hit by a bus on the short trip from the car to the pavement outside the school. That seems rather unlikely, though stranger things have happened.

I survived my 3am working session and have worked more efficiently than I usually do. I still don't know why I work so much better in the morning. My attentiveness just kind of fades away into nothing by the afternoon. Which is rather unfortunate. I'm a bit of an insomniac so I always have trouble falling asleep. As such, I'll purposefully stay up late so I am tired when I go to bed and fall asleep immediately rather than end up tossing and turning all night. That, coupled with early mornings, can not be good.
I am my own worst enemy, it would seem.

The roosters just started making noise next door. Oh my God shut up fml.

Edit: I totally didn't spend the last 15 minutes downloading skins and meshes for Sims 2 based on Hetalia characters. Definitely not.

K, maybe I did. Whatever. My Death Note Sims are boring me. Light won't kill anyone and my one source of drama (ie: Mello sleeping with everyone) is no longer dramatic. Seems the rest of the Wammy kids' are perfectly okay with being cheated on. o_O Strange children.

Edit 2: I just found Sims 2 boxer shorts coloured in the different nations flags. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite as beautiful as this *flails* I don't even wear boxers and I desperately want a pair with the union jack on them<3

I Hate Mornings

The title makes me think of Garfield. I love that cat. And I agree with him; Mondays suck.

I tried to be uber quiet when I woke up this morning so everyone else could remain asleep. The house was silent and dark, and each slight movement reverberated through my entire room and echoed down the hall. The shadows cast by the light of my phone danced upon the walls but, obviously (and thankfully enough) they did not make sounds as they slid from surface to surface, though at times I almost expected them to. Yes, the house was indeed the quietest it had been for quite some time.
Cue me stumbling down the ladder of my bunk, dropping everything over my desk and almost slamming into the hallway door. Good God, I think the neighbours five houses down heard me get up.
I obviously do not have a stealthy bone in my body, despite the stories I've been told from my family in the wars and the fact that my Dad is able to get up, make himself breakfast and coffee and start exercising outside without any of us ever waking. And then there's me, who can't get out of bed without alerting the entirety of my suburb.
Go figure.
I've also managed to drop half a biscuit in my tea, so it tastes all chocolate-y and weird. But that's neither here nor there, really. It's just... annoying, yes, that's a very good word. I feel very annoyed.

I've been up for half an hour now. It's about 3:30. The last time I woke up this early was to catch a plane, so I'm feeling rather disorientated. I'm only awake to finish (read: start) an assignment, you see. It's my own bloody fault for leaving it until the last minute, right? Still, I'm annoyed at the existence of such an assignment. How dare it take away my free time? I could be sleeping! Hell, I could be watching anime. Right now.

F.M.L. orz

There is a positive though. I seem to think better in the mornings. I'm much more cynical and bitchy, but at least my writing tends to improve. Well, my vocabulary does. My grammatical ability tends to fall, but I can proof read later. Here's hoping I do get this assignment done.

It's inching closer and closer to 4am, so I should start soon. If I skip instrumental this morning, I'll have 4 hours to work. I can totally do this!

Also this is not procrastinating. I'm blogging to get my mind into a writing mood. Yes. That's what I'm doing. Mmhm.

Each time I go to have a drink I can taste the chocolate and feel the biscuit crumbs floating in my tea. FFFfffff-