Now, the Obligatory Emo Teenager Post

Not that I'm in a depressed mood or anything. Just... out of it. And tired.

I feel that I cannot trust my eyesight. Colour is just a frequency that we can see, right? Meaning that everything around us isn't actually coloured.
It's all just... blank? Uncoloured? I'm not sure if it's additive or negative, so it's either all black or white.
Just nothing.

I was talking about stuff with my Dad. Something I've noticed is how melancholy abandoned buildings are. I relate it to how we rarely see them. You look at the buildings in the street and it's like they'll be there forever; They're so strong, right? They protect us, shelter us, give us somewhere warm and safe.
But without us keeping them in top condition, they fall apart.
Nothing's permanent.
Memento Mori;
We aren't permanent, either.


I've counted my life in coffee spoons, and all that (<--Good poem, that one. Go look it up).

I have to believe in something. I don't know why, but I just do. I'm not an idiot. I know what I've seen, what I've learned... we evolve. Darwin's theory is hardly immaculate, but it's close.
I just can't explain away morals. Yes, we are social animals. Yes, that means we will conform to and use (and, I suppose, abuse) social graces.
But morals are nothing like that. Everyone's moral compass is different. Why do we have morals, anyway? How would that help us with survival? Why are there things that are physically possible, and yet my brain goes no, you can't do that. I'm sorry, it's not morally right.
What.
Love is another thing. I understand mating for life in animals. I understand not mating for life as well. But why is the human race different? We can't be categorised like other animals can.
Why will a man jump in front of a bullet to save his best mate, or his lover, when he could save himself? Isn't passing on our own genes some driving force for us? Surely getting killed is a little bit... I don't know, unproductive?

So for that reason, I believe that there is someone who has created us, with a sense of morals and justice. I have no opinion on the afterlife. I don't care so much for the bible. And I really do despise the religious who are all self-righteous about what they believe in.

That said, I cannot believe that there is no higher power. It's too depressing, for me at least. Maybe that's weak of me. But, even so, who cares if I need to believe in something to be strong?

(Wow, totally just went off on my own tangent there. I love my ramblings. They make no sense.)