The Sadness That is a Holiday.

Most people are excited to go on holiday. Me? Not so much. Well, okay, that's a lie. I love holidays. I just hate leaving the house on the holidays. Especially when the holiday destination(s) won't have internet.

I'm being forced to go on a cruise. I know what you're thinking. Oh no, you have to go on a free holiday (I'm not paying. That's what parents are for) and you get to relax and do nothing. What horror!

Yeah. Well. Shut it. It's not quite like that. Despite being 17, I'm being forced to go to the kids club. Which means I get to hang with a bunch of 12 year olds (pretty sure the younger ones get their own room) in a room full of xBoxes and colouring in books. I don't even like xBox. Now if there were PS3's or Wii's in the room, I might stop complaining.

Nah, really, that's not so bad, I guess. I'll have my laptop. I'll have my MP3 player. I'll have stuff to do. I'd just rather do it at home. Or in the cabin on the ship, if need be. Not with a bunch of pre-teens looking over my shoulder.

I'm also going to be forced to participate in, well, everything. Which includes things like Pirate Night where you dress up like a pirate. Playing dress up can be fun, but my parents are picking out costumes. Well, more to the point, Mum is. And I can't really participate. I'm under 18, so I can't go to the bars or anything. That's where all the drunk, foolish behaviour will be. I'll be, as I said, stuck with the pre-teens. Lovely.

Pretty sure my family is there to eat and do nothing else. There are some epic restaurants on board, sure, but I refuse to have three course meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Goddamn it, I can barely have one three course meal let alone three.

Maybe they're trying to fatten me up? It's Hansel and Gretel except with my sister and I.

I don't want to be eaten.

On the plus side, I now know how lame my wardrobe is. I have a suitcase full of jeans and one dress. Yeah, just jeans. And my T-shirts all proclaim either the name of a band or a logo/character from a Nintendo game. Well, I have a lonely The Big Bang Theory shirt, but that's the only odd one out, really.

Anyway, pre-teens and cruise boats aside, I've had some pretty good holidays thus far. I've met up with some friends twice. Once at the shopping centre, once at the beach. I can't believe I've never gone to the beach with friends before. We spent more time on public transport than we did in the sand, but who cares? It was very, very fun. Definitely a highlight of the year, I'd say. And we didn't even do much. We built a dodgy sandman/elephant/castle/thing and ate icecream. But whatever. I found it to be pretty dang epic. Even when our bus was late and we missed out train, we still found the entire thing to be entertaining.

I don't know how many people have struggled to play uno on the train without losing the cards over every bump, but I can now say that I have. And I am proud of it.

Oooh, something else worth mentioning. I am now watching the anime Soul Eater. I didn't expect to like it, but trust me when I say it is epic. The artwork is very Tim Burton-ish. I do love Tim Burton. The sun looks a bit like the moon from LoZ: Majora's Mask, actually. Anyway. I've only seen 13 episodes thus far (which is like, the entire series of Angel Beats!. Gotta love short anime) and I haven't been disappointed. The basic idea is that there are humans, and humans who can shapeshift into weapons. These 'weapons' find people to wield them (called meisters) and, as a pair (or, in one case, a threesome. Not in a suss way) gather the souls of witches and 'evil' humans. It's pretty good. For such a large cast, the characterisation is surprisingly good. It's a good series if you like dark humour and the contrast of kiddy-ish animation with slightly more adult concepts. I'll write more about it when I return from the cruise and have seen more than just 13 episodes.

Can you tell who the weapons are? It's a bit odd having humans as weapons, if you ask me. In a clockwise direction, starting with the guy in the yellow jacket, you have Soul Eater, Black Star, Tsubaki, Patti, Death the Kid, Liz and Blair (the cat). In the centre is Maka.

I'm actually enjoying the dub, funnily enough. K, so, maybe I started watching because of Todd Haberkorn. Whatever. I love that guy. I'll blog about him when I return as well.
On the cruise I shall restart the series with the sub and make comparisons. This might be another dub that I prefer, meaning that it can be put into the same category as Inuyasha. That's means it's a damn fine dub. Then again, recently I've discovered that I adore Funimation's dubs, so I may have to expand that section of my favourites.

This image is kind of maybe awesome.

Plan to alleviate boredom on the cruise:
- Watch Fruits Basket
- Watch Soul Eater
- Learn more Japanese (Specifically, learn the 'ii' adjectives, learn 4-stroke kanji and put together longer sentences)
- Write blogs while cruisin' it up
- Finish reading Wuthering Heights

Really, that should take quite awhile. Fruits Basket might not, but Soul Eater is 50 episodes long. Le Gasp! I'm watching something longer than 30 episodes! This is amazing.

Or not. I watched the entirety of Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z multiple times as a kid. But whatever.

I keep procrastinating with my Japanese study. Ho hum. Guess I should focus on that more, since I want to be a Japanese -> English interpreter/translator one day. Ii-Adjectives are a bitch to conjugate though. Why can't the be as easy as masu-adjectives?

Also, just for the hell of it, here's a screenshot of my desktop with my awesome Luigi's Mansion 2 wallpaper. I may as well show off my desktop occasionally, right? Why not?


Yeah, it's a bit cluttered, but whatever. I'll clean it up eventually. Hey! That's something else I can do on the cruise. xD

My RPG/Theatre Dream (wut)

I had a pretty damn awesome dream last night. It started with me chilling with the tenth Doctor from Doctor Who (ie: David Tennant). Well, not really chilling. We were adventuring somewhere. It was very RPG-ish. I felt like I was in Final Fantasy IV, actually, but with better graphics. And as the dream progressed, I ended up with two of the Mythbusters team there. Unfortunately, I wasn't with Adam or Jamie. I think I was with Tory and Grant, though Grant may have actually been Kari. I don't quite remember. Anyway, not long after they joined us (I can't remember any dialogue. I wish I did, because I'm sure this entire thing would've been hilarious) our RPG-esque world turned into Super Mario 64. Originally we were in Bob-omb Battlefield, but at some point it turned into one of the underground levels from the original Mario Bros. but with 64 graphics. And that turned into a theatre production rather than being an RPG. Seriously, it became a small stage with an audience watching us.
I have a feeling I was Mario. Unfortunately, I did not have a moustache, nor did I have epic overalls and a red cap.

I'm not really sure what to say about this dream. It was pretty awesome though.

Emotive

(This is being written as I lie in bed about to fall asleep, so it's probably not going to make sense. Just a warning.)

Dad and I were discussing people again. Well, I brought up my confusion over emotions and all (as I tend to do) and he tried to make as much sense of it as he could for me. The conversation ended with this:
Me: Well, why do we feel the pain of others? If a book describes someone being in terrible emotional pain, we can feel it, right? But if it's physical pain, like a broken bone or torture, you don't really feel that as well. Not to the same degree. Why is that?
Dad: Physical pain is to do with nerves. Reading a book doesn't stimulate any nerve endings. But reading a book stimulates the brain, and I guess that's where emotions come from. At least, that's how I understand it.
Me: Right, okay, that makes sense. But still, why do we empathise?
Dad: Because we're... emotive creatures, I guess. It's just... we just do. It's not rational. It's not supposed to be.

Honestly, I think this is one of the few times my Dad hasn't even tried to come up with an answer.

So once again, I've been thinking too much. Now I'm on the topic of relationships. Pfft, great way to depress myself, right? Well, for once, no. I'm oddly positive. I wonder why. Chances are my mood is going to crash in the near future to make up for this. But anyway. Back onto the topic of love and whatnot.

You can care for someone deeply and share both their happiness and sorrow, and know that regardless of what happens, it's okay because it's them. That's not all that personal and can be applied to a lot of relationships. So... whatever. I think, when you start to love someone, it's because you love specific aspects of them, the things that set them apart from everyone else. Like the way a person thinks, or the way they speak, or perhaps just their smile. There's got to be something that is so decidedly them that you wouldn't be able to confuse it with anyone else. And you know, you might love them for those traits, but you'll also love them for the flaws. You can't have good characterisation in television without flaws, and the same goes for reality. You can't relate to someone if they're perfect. There's no depth to them, there's no substance. You can love someone for their strengths and weaknesses.

But still, that's not quite there. You can love someone, yes, but to be in love with someone, you've got to go a step further. If you're in love, it's because you love your own actions when you're around them. You'll act differently. When you're with someone you love (not just romantically, really) then you're going to act differently. We change depending on who we interact with. When you find someone who truly brings out the best in you, then you know you're with someone you need to hold on to. That's what I believe, anyway.

I also had a discussion with Clearly Unfocused, Phantomess and Miss Invisible today. We came to the conclusion that, whether it be romantic or platonic, every relationship we have needs to have issues. You need to have things in common, but there must be differences to stop things from becoming dull. To make conversation, you need to differ in opinion.
Also, without conflict, you become complacent and start to take things for granted. And that's when things fall apart. You need the conflict to keep you working. Once you stop working at a relationship, then you may as well give up completely. Of course, you don't want too much conflict. If you're always at each other's throats, then things aren't going to last. There's got to be a balance there.

Fff my eyes hurt. A lot. And I'm slouching from being active-ish all day. I was going to write a lot more, but I physically can't. Damn my weak physique and eyesight. I want to write crappy posts about love, dammit! Whatever.

"I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."
-Roy Croft

Celebration

I have finished all assignments for this term. This means that there is only one term (which is, what, nine weeks long?) left of high school for me.

Well, technically there are two terms left, but no one even tries in term four. It doesn't even count really.

It's kinda scary. Actually, it's very scary. I'm terrified of the future. But hey, no use worrying about it. Just got to keep trying and not stress too much.

My enter key isn't working properly, and it is really annoying.

Anyway, it's a good night to celebrate. I am downloading music for Clearly Unfocused (btw I just realised what an awesome contradiction your screen name is here, bro) and reading fanfiction. The Hetalia LJ just exploded with Spamano fics, so I am one happy girl.

I'm tired, so I'll probably have an early night and late morning. I am so pleased with my results, and it just hit me how relieved I really am. And tired. Oh, so tired.

Ways to Start an Assignment

This is how I'm getting myself to start my assignment. Whoop whoop.

- I have started by purposefully going on MSN and telling people about how much I am procrastinating. They tend to be all "DO YOUR ASSIGNMENT BITCH" and prompt me so many times that I end up working.

- Close all tabs except what is needed. And maybe have some downloads going in the background. I mean, that's not /too/ distracting

- No music.

- I have the desktop on, and that makes plenty of noise, but usually I'm working on the laptop alone which leaves the room in silence. When this happens, I end up finding a site that plays white noise or a site that plays the sound of rain. Either helps me concentrate.

- As a way of convincing myself that I'm still sorta having free time, I end up playing with a bunch of my little Shimeji things on screen. Right now I have Romano crawling around because I'm kinda maybe in love with him~

- Vanilla green tea. It doesn't taste amazing or anything, but it smells really nice and seems to help me concentrate. Plus it makes me feel warm and, you know, it's cold right now.

- The Shimeji really are excellent. You can mess around with them while thinking and, when you're typing, you don't need to focus on them at all. They're just sorta half-there, if that makes any sense.

- Stuffed toys for cuddling when not typing.

- The shortcut for GTA needs to be visible on my desktop so I can remember that, once I'm finished, I can happily go run over a bunch of random civilians if that makes me feel better.

- Sims 2 is good as well, in case I feel like building instead of destroying.

- My Pokewalker is looking at me. It's like "yeah you can walk 10,000 steps a day but you can't even write 2000 words. You fail" and it makes me feel bad.

- Closing Blogger. The final step before working on an assignment.

Wish me luck, people. =3

Procrastibation.

I'm not going to explain the word 'procrastibation'. C'mon guys. It should be obvious.

Anyway, I'm procrastinating, like I usually do. Not procrastibating (I would hardly advertise that online, guys) but just normal procrastinating. I have an assignment due tomorrow that I've hardly started. That's okay. I'll do it in the morning. That's how I did the last assignment. Woke up at 3am, finished it by 6am. I'm damn good like that.

You can't blame me for procrastinating. It's a stupid assignment. The task sheet is badly written and the teacher annoys me. Yeah, that's totally reason enough to not do an assignment. Moving on.

Pretty sure I looked at the task sheet, looked at the teacher and thought "what". Just like this gif. Yeah.

So how am I procrastinating this time? Unfortunately, I am not procrastibating. I don't think masturbation is a very productive way to pass the time. No, I'm listening to music, reading fanfiction and browsing Livejournal. Oh wait, that's what I normally do when something is due. Hm.

I'm a very predictable person, I suppose.

Then again, I'm not completely predictable. Guess what music I'm listening to. It's not indie, progressive rock or alternative for once. It's not in English or Japanese. Yeah, I've gone way out there. Sort of. I am listening to Italian rap.
Well, I'm listening to a bunch of songs in different languages about different countries. It just so happens that In Italia by Fabri Fibra (Ft. Gianna Nannini) is playing at this current point in time.

I figure I should listen to some more Italian if I want to learn the language... then again, there are a lot of languages I want to learn. Japanese, German, Macedonian, Greek, Spanish, Russian, Finnish, Portuguese, Latin and... Corsican, perhaps? Northern or Southern Corsican, I'm not picky.
I'd also like to learn Venetian, Sicilian and Neapolitan, but I may be going a bit over the top with the whole Italy thing. Corsican also counts, even if it's also spoken in France.

I'm too easily influenced. I started liking Finnish because of Tenuto Tuo, and it was Phantomess and Clearly Unfocused who got me into Spanish. But whatever.

L'italiano by Toto Cutugno is playing now. Which is quite a strange contrast when compared with the last song.

I should stop babbling on about languages now. Just for the record, I am studying Japanese and 'standard' Italian at uni. That will not change. However, I'd like to do German and maybe Sicilian one day in the future. Maybe. Depends on how difficult it is to learn Japanese and Italian... but hey, I'll keep those as my goals, anyway. It's nice to have goals, even if you probably won't reach them. It's free to dream big, right?

Right.

(The word 'procrastibation' was totally stolen from [title of show] which is absolutely hilarious and everyone should go watch it. Yes, right now. Yes, you. Go watch it. You won't regret it. Alright kiddies, go procrastibate and have fallacious arguments with your friends, mmkay?)

Pickles Have Many Names

I have spent the day reading Catch 22 so I can start and finish an assignment on it. The draft for this assignment was technically due last Thursday, however I had not finished the book. Truth be told, I didn't even plan on finishing the book. Hence why I am rushing to finish it now as the actual assignment is due in 3 days.

Unfortunately, I fail at keeping at one task for an extended period of time. As a result, I've ended up doing various things along with reading my book, such as discuss uni options, read fanfiction, follow Tim Schou on Twitter, follow a bunch of Hetalia roleplayers online, listen to the Eurovision contestants from this year, listen to Plastic Tree, look up a translation of the lyrics of two Plastic Tree songs, analyse these lyrics, sing along with the original Japanese lyrics, look up other Visual Kei bands, browse Facebook, eat chocolate, feta cheese, jelly crystals, cookies, lamingtons, bread and noodles, read messages about Belgium from a close friend, fight with Songbird for not playing my music, fight with Adobe Flash Player for crashing on multiple videos, watch videos of cats jump into boxes, fight with my sister and listen to a website that plays recordings of thunderstorms on a loop.

I've been very productive.

All of this reading and procrastinating has given me a hunger for pickles, actually. We have a jar, however there are only five pickles in the jar, so I only had one. Which sucks because I am really craving more.

Actually, the jar calls them 'Dill Cucumbers' and has something in Polish underneath that. Wikipedia calls them pickled cucumbers along with the above names plus variations of these names. They also call them 'gherkins'.

The thing with pickles/pickled cucumbers/dill cucumbers/gherkins is that they are a little bit sour and very salty. And I love salt. So you can understand my sudden craving. I adore salt. Today has been a very sugar filled day and I am sick of it. I want my salt, kthx.

I have 100 pages to go of Catch 22. Gosh dang it to heck.

I suspected that Plastic Tree were big on cutesy, kinda romantic, kinda sad lyrics. And I was right. Which is amazing because, as I've said before, my grasp on the Japanese language is rather small and failworthy. I looked up the lyrics to スピカ/Spica and アンドロメタモルフオーゼ/andro metamorphose. They are very good songs. Very emotional songs. I already knew the gist of Spica which is why I looked up the translation, but I didn't know much about Andro Metamorphose. I just looked up the lyrics because I liked the music.

Here are my favourite parts of each song

スピカ/Spica. Spica is the brightest star in Virgo, and the 15th brightest star in our sky.

まだ　星の光が　忘れそうになった思いを繋げるなら
覚えた星の名前が　隠れてしまった未来を照らすのなら
きっと　となり同士　ふたりぼっち　白いスピカ

Which translates to:
If the light of the stars still connects me to a love I’d forgotten
If the name of the star I’ve just remembered illuminates a future that was hidden
We’ll surely be side by side, just the two of us, a white Spica

アンドロメタモルフォーゼ/Andro Metamorphose is probably the most difficult title to remember. I don't know why. Anyway.

名を呼んで 名を告げて
透明じゃない僕にして
食べかけの月が僕を冷たく睨んでる
未来まで一緒にさ 行けたならよかったな
してあげたい出来ない事がたくさんあるんだよ

Translation:
Call my name, tell me my name
Make me visible
The half-eaten moon glares down at me coldly
I wish we could have made it to the future together
There are so many things I want to do for you, but can't

Yeah, so, they have very good lyrics.

Heh, when I scroll back up and read the first two paragraphs of this post, I feel like wincing. When I read something, I tend to adopt the voice used in that text (or at least, attempt to adopt it) and end up writing in a similar way. I think I was trying to write in a voice similar to that used in Catch 22, but it got a little muddled when I looked up pickles/pickled cucumbers/dill cucumbers/gherkins on Wikipedia, and I ended up with... well, whatever I wrote in the beginning of this post. Cool.

"Opinions Are Like Nipples

"Everybody has one. Some have firm points, others are barely discernible through layers, and some are displayed at every opportunity regardless of whether the audience has stated "I am interested in your nipples" or not. Cats have nineteen."

You should also think before you share them, because otherwise you may offend some people.

Random blog post is random. Right now I have been avoiding doing my Extension English assignment because the teacher cannot teach and is being a total dick to my classroom English teacher (yeah, I'm totally making a really lame stand against him. Anyway). Said classroom English teacher can teach and makes a great effort in making sure we are all comfortable and equal with him. The latter is a trait that is not shared with my ExtEng teacher. Perhaps it's weird to take sides with teachers of all things, but... well... whatever. I hate my Extension teacher with a passion. I adore my classroom English teacher as he's the best teacher I've ever had. So the Extension one can go screw himself if he's going to keep being a jerk.

Aaanyway. I've thought very hard about my nipples opinions and have decided I want to share them. I mean, they're about Nintendo; how offensive can they be?

The top 5 3DS games I have been fangirling over the most are as follows.
1. Ocarina of Time 3D
2. Luigi's Mansion 2
3. Cave Story 3D
4. Professor Layton Vs Ace Attorney
5. Animal Crossing

Looking at that list... I suppose most wouldn't consider me a hardcore gamer, right? I still get confused as to the definition of 'hardcore gamer'. I'd assume it means that the gamer himself gets into the games fully, right? Because it refers to the gamer specifically. And trust me, I do get into my games. I'll spend hours playing (and totally skip out on eating and sleep if need be), I'll look up everything I can about the games when I'm done, I'll replay everything and find as many in-game secrets as possible and attempt to familiarise myself with the entire environment. Which should make me a hardcore gamer.

But for some reason, a hardcore gamer is only a gamer who plays 'hardcore' games. Funnily enough, that only seems to refer to first-person shooters o_O In which case, I am not a hardcore gamer. Tch. Fine. Guess my hours and hours of gameplay and research and fangirling and absolute adoration for my games means nothing to you people. Hmph.

Ehhh, but I digress. I'm not really sure what point I was going to make here. I suppose I'm just going to give up on this post because I've gone off on such a tangent that I've forgotten what I was doing. Whoops~

The title quote was taken from this very reputable site. Well, depending on your definition of 'reputable'. Lolol \(^_^)/

Drive-In Theatres

I don't know how it is around the world, but here in Australia there are almost no drive-in movie theatres. Most people have never been, and probably will never go.

I'm here to explain why everyone should go to one.

When I was a child, there was nothing better than a drive-in movie. It takes about an hour to get to the closest theatre here. Despite there being a standard theatre not ten minutes down the road, I always picked the drive-in when I had the chance. We'd fill the back seat with blankets and pillows. Mum would bring chips and lollies from home because store prices are ridiculous.

The drive-in closest to our place is pretty cool. There were two screens and they would show two movies a night on each. You could watch one and leave, come for the second and leave or watch both. We always stayed for both. There are speakers between each parking space that you can bring into your car or, if you'd prefer, you could find the radio station that played the sound for the films and just use your car radio.

Or, if you're an anti-social teenager like me, use an MP3 player/portable radio with headphones. ^_^

Once there, Mum, Dad and I (and later, my younger sister) would lay at least one blanket, maybe two over the tray to soften it (lying on metal has never been all that comfortable) and cover the back of the tray with pillows to lie on. Some people used mattresses and for those without trucks, you could sit in the car or bring chairs with you. The tray was always my favourite though.
We'd hook the speakers onto the sides of the tray and bring out chips and whatnot. Basically, we were at a movie theatre with a bigass screen (bigger than standard theatres, trust me) and we could lie down and do whatever we wanted.

And the best part? You're under the stars. As a child, I loved being able to look up whenever I wanted and just stare. Something about the sky just gives you a sense of being. You're a part of nature. You can see the sky stretched over everyone and know you all belong there together. It brings a sense of unity. It's also kind of humbling, I suppose. Nothing like a huge expanse of sky to show you how tiny you really are. Oddly enough, that never upset me as a kid. I felt better knowing that there was more to life than me. That there was a huge expanse out there that we would never quite understand. And I very much liked knowing that.
I was an odd child.
Anyway, the stars were also a very good distraction. Boring part of the movie? Do some stargazing. Movie's over and you're waiting for the next to start up? See if you can spot a shooting star. Person in front of you is getting freaky with someone else in the backseat of their own car? Stare upwards and pray that they stop.

Even today I can't help but love watching movies with stars overhead. Really, you can see the stars without looking up as well. Behind the screen there is a row of trees, and just above that you can see the sky peaking through the branches. It was all very nice. And it adds to the atmosphere. Especially if it was cloudy. That always helps make horror movies so much scarier, or action movies so much more dramatic.

I've never had a chance to do this, but I suspect it's the best spot for dates, too. If you were outside of your vehicle watching the film during winter, it'd be really, really cold. Perfect time to bring out a blanket and snuggle for body heat, yeah? =3

101 goals in 1001 days

So I totally copied ClearlyUnfocused and made an account here on Day Zero. The whole idea is to make a list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. I currently have 62 things and 998 days left to do them. I'll eventually have 101 things to do. Probably.
I have until 2014.
Here's my list:

1. Learn Japanese

2. Learn basic Italian

3. Watch the sun rise with people I care about

4. Get my P-Plates

5. Get out of the country

6. Write long, truthful messages to all of my friends

7. Get the confidence to send these messages to my friends

8. Cosplay

9. Learn how to play the ocarina

10. Listen to a ナイトメアalbum and understand it

11. Watch Star Wars

12. Learn to play piano

13. Graduate

14. Get into uni

15. Completely finish building my current town on The Sims2

16. Reach at least 70,000 plays on last.fm

17. Have at least 2000 tweets on Twitter

18. Have at least 500 blog posts on Blogger

19. Wear a dress with confidence

20. Train my HeartGold team to level 100

21. Complete Pokemon Black

22. Get 100% completion on LoZ OoT 3D

23. Eat Vegan for a weekend

24. Pierce something other then my ears

25. Go to a midnight screening of a movie

26. Walk or bike on Earth Day

27. Cook an entire meal from scratch

28. Take a picture for each letter of the alphabet over the course of a day

29. Spend an afternoon reading in the park

30. Star gaze for an extended period of time

31. Have a meaningful conversation under the stars

32. Write a letter to myself to open in 10 years

33. Kiss in the rain

34. Don't complain about anything for a week

35. Watch the sunrise and sunset in the same day

36. Get a job

37. Make a wish at 11:11 on November 11, 2011

38. Clean out my closet

39. Learn a poem by heart

40. Have dinner by candlelight

41. Identify 100 things that make me happy

42. Put change in someone's expired parking meter

43. Watch the entirety of Inuyasha

44. Make a list of 101 quotes that inspire me

45. Learn to fold 25 different papercrafts

46. Participate in Operation Beautiful (http://operationbeautiful.com)

47. Get 100% completion on a video game

48. Donate blood

49. Learn the ukulele

50. Write in a journal every day for a month

51. Eat an apple a day for one month

52. Write a letter when I graduate high school to read when I finish uni

53. Identify 101 things which make me happy, or smile, and photograph them

54. Watch 10 foreign language films

55. Camp at a music festival

56. Start a video blog

57. Write my own autobiography/personal history

58. Write a list of 20 places I want to visit and why

59. Write on 20 creative writing prompts. http://creativewritingprompts.com/

60. Read 3 books from the banned books list (http://www.banned-books.com/)

61. Read a book in Japanese

62. Fold 1000 origami paper cranes

Post-E3 2011 Nintendo Thoughts.

Nintendo's E3 conference started with a Legend of Zelda montage featuring old Zelda titles plus the newest game, Skyward Sword, as well as footage from Ocarina of Time 3D. The entire sequence was set to a live orchestra which, of course, also played a collection of old themes and the newest.

Well, Nintendo sure knows how to put on a show. Not that I expected any less from them.

It's the 25th anniversary of Zelda. Before the show started, we were promised some epic Zelda surprises. In my opinion, those surprises never came. Game-wise, at least. We got some titles being rereleased online for the 3DS, and we had some new footage of Skyward Sword. Otherwise, I didn't see much to rave about. I do have one thing to be thankful for, though; Despite the cartoonish colouring, Skyward Sword does look like Twilight Princess. I'm very thankful for that.

For the people like me who go beyond gaming when they get into a series, they did announce that there will be a Zelda Orchestra. You can go hear Zelda themes all around the world played by a live orchestra.

I will pay a huge amount of cash to see that. <3
There are also two CD's. The Zelda Symphony Orchestra will have an album made, and the OoT OST is being rereleased (I think it's just a rerelease?).

Proof that music is an important part of gaming. Screw you hardcore gamers who are all "yay graphics, yay gray-scale 'realistic' games" and ignore everything else. If enjoying proper games that tell stories and focus on more than just gameplay makes me a casual gamer, then I guess I'm a casual gamer.

I adore Shigeru Miyamoto. He is so over the top in everything he does. Iwata, on the other hand, is more well spoken and has great stage presence.
His accent is cute too. That always helps.

Anyway, that's not the games. And the games are what we're here for, yeah? Anyway, the things that stood out to me were:

- New Mario on 3DS
- OoT 3D has better framerate~
- Luigi's Mansion 2!!!!!! With multiple mansions?!?!?! <3
- Gold Zelda Wii Remote. I lol'd. And I kind of want it.
- EA is all "Yay new console". 'Bout time they joined the Nintendo party bus.
- SMASH BROTHERS. ON 3DS. YES.
- Classic game downloads. Hello Gameboy, I missed you~

The new console, the Wii U (I hate the name. I hate it a lot) has a controller that looks like a DS/PSP hybrid. Really. But it's a controller. I can't describe it very well. Basically, it's got a HD screen as well as controls, and you can use that screen simultaneously with the television. You can also use the controller on its own. I have two opinions of this.

-The controller is too clunky, I can't see this working, this is another 'Wii' gimick.
-That extra screen looks really cool and if it's used well, this could make gaming really epic.

I don't know which opinion I subscribe to yet.
It's supposed to pander to both hardcore and casual gamers. If they do this correctly, Nintendo will take the market easily. Thing is, I doubt 'hardcore' gamers are going to give the controller a look-in =_=. It's compatible with the Wii controllers, so less cash spending here.
The controller has a gyroscope as well as normal buttons and touchscreen. Basically, Nintendo are now fusing handhelds and home gaming together.
The graphics seem to be better than the Wii, from what I've noticed. I haven't seen enough to compare it to other systems, but whatever. It looks damn good. Other gamers have no reason to complain about the graphics now. Suck my balls xBox and PS3, Nintendo still wins out. Even so, why are we all that keen on graphics? If I wanted realistic, I'd look out my window.

Nintendo is really being backed by developers yet again. ♥

Overall? For Nintendo, great presentation, great entertainment. Not so good on the gaming releases, but I'm still happy. Did they come out on top of Sony? Hm. I think so, but I am rather biased =3

Also: LOL MICROSOFT. Just sayin'

Game list:

~3DS~
- Mario Kart 3D
- Starfox 64 3D
- Super Mario 3D
- Kid Icarus: Uprising (features multiplayer, apparently)
- Luigi's Mansion 2
- Super Smash Brothers
- Resident Evil
- Ace Combat 3D
- Tetris
- Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. Again.
- CAVE STORY (yes that deserves caps lock)
- Resident Evil Revelations
- Driver Renegade
- Pac-Man
- Tekken 3D
- Metal Gear Solid Snake Eater 3D
- Excite Bike (and other 3D classics via download)

~Wii U~
- A whole bunch of sports and wii fit type games. Moving on.
- Super Smash Brothers
- A hide and seek game with Mii's... well, now that Osama's gone, I guess we do need something new for hide and seek, Y/Y?
- Lego City Stories
- Darksiders II
- Assassin's Creed
- Batman
- Ghost Recon Online
- Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor's Edge
- Dirt Codemasters
- Aliens Colonial Marines
- Metro Last Light
- Tekken

Matters of the Heart

You know, I don't quite get the social animals thing. Yeah, as humans we just have this need to converse and befriend others, but... I don't quite see why. And there's so many people who claim to have a social phobia of some sort... How can a social creature have a social phobia? How? Why? Why why why why why?
I can't comprehend this.

For some reason, I can't help but try and figure out why we're social creatures. I mean, I can see the benefits, but I also see a lot of disadvantages to working in a group.
That said, when I consider my own friend and family, I certainly don't do things with them because I expect something in return. So there's obviously this other dynamic there that I just can't quite grasp. Or, perhaps I can grasp it, but I'm trying not to. I don't want to.
I know I've mentioned this before, but I think I have a co-dependency complex. I fear becoming co-dependent. And I think I try to reason everything I do so that I can monitor myself and make sure that I don't rely on others too much. Hence my confusion over all this.

I am horribly hypocritical about all that, though, because I also fear being alone. Go figure.

I'm not sure what I want. My feelings on all this tend to fluctuate quite often. There are times when I'll speak about nothing for hours with other people. Where I end up being very over the top. These are the times when I do love my physical contact, where hugs are just normal for me and I also enjoy play fights and whatever else. So long as I'm near someone else. And then there are the times when... I don't know, it's like there's a social 'switch' in me and someone has turned it off. I'll just not talk, not listen, shy away from the world and I'll even disappear off the internet. I'll flinch if someone prods me.

I don't quite understand any of that. I don't know why I sometimes crave the contact, both emotionally and physically. I don't know why there are other times where I feel slightly nauseous over just the prospect of being near someone.
Is it too much to ask for some consistency here?

Thing is, I only start to avoid others if I feel I've gotten too clingy. It's not really a conscious thing. I just stop. I think it was, once. I'd tell myself "yeah, okay, you're going too far" and I'd force myself to shy away from everyone else. It's just gotten to the point where I do it automatically.

Pretty sure it was never like this until after my last boyfriend. Romance isn't all it's cracked up to be if you do become dependent, I suppose. Then again, I guess I'm glad things ended up the way they did. Live and learn, and all that. Maybe this will save me from future issues.

Eh, still. I know I crave attention. I miss having someone to rely on. I miss having someone who was both a friend and more. I miss the little secrets that none of our friends were in on. I miss the times when just bumping shoulders or catching his gaze across the room would send shivers down my spine. Granted, I wouldn't want that with him anymore. That ship sailed long ago. ...That doesn't mean that I don't miss it, sometimes.

I berate myself for that. Hence why I now have days that I try to avoid others. To convince myself I don't want this anymore. I don't.

Lol co-dependency I don't even.

I guess that's more of a relationship thing, though. I mean, I've never been massively dependent on friends. I do avoid speaking to my friends quite often though. Perhaps my mind fails at deciphering between those that I'm close with and I can lean on without becoming dependent, and those that I end up needing as an emotional crutch to the point of me becoming completely clingy.

Random subject change: You know how people say that relationship matters come from the heart? I refuse to say that. They come from the mind too. The heart just pumps blood, right?
Even so, there's something about the heart that is so obviously romantic. Maybe because that's what pumps our blood, the essence of everything that makes us alive, through our very being. And it's tangible, as well. You can feel a heart beating.
You can't feel a brain thinking. And I think that's why hearts are always considered to be the epitome of our emotions. You can feel it. If you put your head to a persons chest, you can hear it. Also, when something terrible happens, you feel it in your chest, near the heart. You can feel that pain swell under the skin and spread throughout your torso. Your 'blood runs cold', as they say. And your ribcage suddenly feels too small, too constricting...

What causes that feeling, then? There we go, something else I don't understand. We all know when something horrible happens, so why do we need a physical reminder of the fact?

Why?

=_=

真っ赤な糸

Warning: There is nothing substantial in this post. I'm just babbling. As I tend to do. :3

I've been listening to Plastic Tree again. I adore the lead singer. His vocals are very different, in a very good way. I think I've already blogged about that though so I'll stop now.
真っ赤な糸 = Makka na Ito. The 'red string of fate'. I don't know if I've blogged about that before. Here's the TV Tropes page, anyway.

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break." - an ancient Chinese belief

Moving on. I really want to watch the anime Pandora Hearts. I don't know if it's any good. Honestly, I haven't heard much about it. All I really know is that is has strong allusions to Alice in Wonderland, and that's reason enough for me to watch it.
I also want to watch School Days, but for a much less innocent reason. It's a love triangle that turns violent. Very violent. Ever since watching Higurashi, I've kind of maybe developed a love for violence. Whoops.

Random, but I totally had a crush on the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland. Especially Johnny Depp's version, of course. But even before him, I had a thing for the Hatter. I don't know what it is... something about him being totally insane, but also adorable and kind of... innocent or childish, even... despite his madness. Or maybe because of it? I don't know.

But yeah, watching the newest adaption-come-sequel of Alice in Wonderland? Yeah. Yeah, I'd tap that.

Man I find the weirdest things attractive. O_O

Speaking of which... I dreamt about the guy I like last night. Usually I don't dream about crushes or boyfriends. It just doesn't happen with me.
But yeah, I did last night. How odd.
Talk about getting my hopes up about things that will never happen =_=
Let's pretend I'm not disappointed by that, shall we?

I'm not in some romcom movie, dammit. I really need to stop thinking about this so much.

...I think I'll go play GTA now.

Bird Troubles

I have two budgies. The blue one is Simba (Lion King reference) and the yellow one is Sonic (Sonic the Hedgehog reference, obviously). They are awesome. Sonic is kinda new and young so she's a little weary of us. We got her from our aunt so she's never been in a store or anything. 'Cause the only budgies we've ever bought have been trouble. Anyway.
Simba, on the other hand, is amazing. He's very calm with us. He'll nibble on your finger if you put it near the cage and won't put up a fight if you pick him up, which made moving him to the big cage very easy. He's adorable. We found him in the backyard of our old house. He didn't fly away when Mum found him and picked him up. He's well behaved and affectionate towards us. So you know, we love him.

This morning, the first thing Mum told me was that the budgies had been attacked last night. Sure enough, around the cage were feathers. Lots of feathers. In particular, tail feathers. He literally has no tail at all, now.
His leg was also bleeding considerably. I mean, birds are small. They don't have that much blood. So perhaps there isn't a lot of blood, really. But it looks like quite a lot when compared to his body size.
We tried to examine the damage, mostly. We were just watching, and not in a creepy way, mmkay. And then I noticed that he was biting at his leg. Not just nibbling, but biting. He clenches his beak around his leg (especially his toes), turns his head and pulls.
He has no claw on one of his toes O_O the bleeding looks to be mostly self inflicted, actually. I've heard of birds pulling out their tail feathers, but tearing at their leg?

As normal, he was very cool with us moving him. He sat in Dad's hand and let Dad put him in the smaller cage. We drove to the vet and, despite the bumpy, sucky roads around our house, he was pretty cool with it all. No sounds were made. He gave me a few glances but otherwise didn't seem very phased. Have I ever told you that I love this bird?

Anyway, there were no bird specialists on Sunday's. So we're back home, watching Simba bite his own leg. There is a small puddle of blood under him. I am not exaggerating. I don't know how much blood birds are supposed to have but it's really not looking good.

We just soaked his foot in iodine (ouch. He seems okay though). He's sitting in the hood of my jumper now. Hello Simba :3

I can feel him on the back of my neck. Eheheh. It's a weird feeling. I really hope he gets better guys.

Cracked.com Epicness

So instead of doing my assignment this morning I ended up reading Cracked.com. Out of pure boredom (and some spite directed at my Extension English teacher. I refuse to do my assignment mmkay) I will now share my findings. And maybe my opinions on these findings ‘cause I am a lonely bitch and need to share this with someone :3

Let's start with my favourite two entries from this article.

Involuntary Expression Disorder is exactly what it sounds like when you pull an expression that is not directly linked to what you’re really feeling. Sort of like when you get yelled at by someone and yet you have this inexplicable urge to grin, despite the fact that you are not happy with the situation at all, or “becoming depressed when you hear good news, or laughing at a tense or unpleasant place, such as when someone tries to start an argument with you.”

Alexithymia is where you can’t quite understand, interpret or convey ones emotions. Sort of like when a chick is all “my boyfriend won’t open up to me =(“ except this is an actual serious problem and the guy physically can’t do anything about it. Also, those with alexithymia often have sucky imaginations. Apparently everyone has some form of it; the issues, of course, start up when you end up with a worse case.

But hey, it’s all good. Because one of the proposed methods of helping to counter this is hugging. Seriously. That’s the treatment. Well, not quite. As is said on Cracked, “in relationships where the couple shared affectionate communication, such as hugging, touching or even taking certain positive postures during communication, there was a significant positive impact on the condition. The more hugging the couples did, the less of an impact the condition had on them”.

So, you know, next time I want to cuddle someone, I’m not being weird. I’m just making sure they are somewhat protected from this disease-thing.

Moving on. In this article it states that the words used only make up 7% of the meaning we take from a conversation. The other 93% of the meaning come from nonverbal cues. We also have this emotional osmosis effect. We're able to understand and absorb the mood of whoever is speaking to us, which allows us to understand the point being made.

So you know, online conversation? Not so good. In fact, we end up just projecting our own moods onto what we read, which often leads to misinterpretation.

Apparently, in most cases, more than 40% of an email will be misunderstood.

This article is very interesting (and made me feel a lot better about myself). A bunch of total dudes in Canada (and maybe some Dudettes. I haven't really checked) basically watched a bunch of people for 12 years until a bunch of them died.

Lovely.

Anyway. "Not surprisingly, the super obese subjects died first, proving once and for all that all the video games where you gain more health as you eat more are not scientifically accurate. However, people at what was considered a healthy weight tended to die second, leaving the not-exactly-svelte to laugh as they slurped a milkshake".

Wait what.

So there's a bunch of stuff on stress tolerance. You know, having some fat means you can rely on it when going through stressful times or sickness. That's not interesting though. The interesting part is where it says "one of the reasons for fat's unexpected healing powers is that dangerous acids tend to build up in fatty tissue, instead of loitering inside your liver or heart."

I never thought about that.

Also from that article; sleeping in is good for you and the internet can (and is) making us smarter.

Go read those articles. They are epic.

Note: I haven't re-read this out of laziness. Apologies for any mistakes.

Double Note: I'm transferring files. It's been stuck at '60 seconds remaining' for the last hour. Why do you taunt me so?!?