So I've just figured out why I struggle with the Japanese 'r' sound so much and why I cannot roll my r's. It also links to how I cannot lick the icecream bowl without managing to get icecream on my forehead and why I cannot, for the life of me, bend or roll my tongue in any way whatsoever. I appear to have 'Ankyloglossia'.
I've always had a short tongue. That's cool. At least I have a reason for it now. Ankyloglossia (often known as 'tongue tie', apparently) is where the skin under the tongue is unusually thick and/or short. So my tongue is attached to the bottom of my mouth. Well, everyone's is, but mine is stuck more than most. I don't know how this affects others, but for me it means I can't pronounce my R's properly. I didn't realise this until tonight, actually, when discussing pronunciations with my Dad. That was when he pointed out that I was weird. :3
I can't say an 'R' with my tongue. It comes out as an L sound. I try to compensate for this by using my throat to say anything with an 'r' instead.
So, for you normal-English speakers... say something, like 'rate'. Your tongue will probably be near the top of your mouth when you say the 'r' sound, right? Mine drops to the bottom of my mouth so that I can use my throat muscles to pronounce it. I have no way of explaining what I do, actually... Just that my tongue has very little to do with my 'r' sounds.
This also explains quite a lot. I did get tongue-tied more than anyone else as a kid...
Hm, yes, well, anyway. I pronounce my r's the same way that most German's do, it seems. Which is great, except... I'm not learning German.
And oh, the irony, it's also similar (though not quite to the same extent) to French 'r' sounds. I do not want to speak French...
I'm studying Japanese. In Japanese you pronounce the 'R' sound in between where you pronounce the English 'R' and 'L' sounds. But... that makes no sense to me because I can't make the English 'R' sound. So I kind of... make up a sound under my tongue. I'll explain that further down.
I also want to study Italian and possibly Spanish, which typically use the alveolar trill... or, you know, rolling the r's. Something I can't possibly do with my throat (Well, actually, I could learn, but at best it'll sound like a slight growl from what I can tell, and I don't really want to be growling at people). And I can't just learn to roll my r's the normal way, because my tongue won't work like that. It's kind of anchored to the bottom of my mouth, moreso than most... I've tried, but no matter how I position my tongue, it'll sound more like an 'l' than anything else.
The title of this post is wrong. It's not that I've been cursed to never study languages in general. It's more like... God has built me to learn languages I don't particularly like. Yeah. Thanks for that.
Not all is lost. I can make a slight rolling sound, in the same way I manage to make the Japanese 'r' sounds. I manage by moving my tongue in position to pronounce 'd' and then flicking between my 'r' and 'l' sounds underneath my tongue. I don't know how to explain that... I pronounce the 'r' with my throat, but flick air under my tongue to create an 'l' sound. It kind of rolls. It still sounds like more of an 'l' though. Actually, it mostly sounds Japanese and not at all Italian. That's not surprising though, since I figured this out while trying to pronounce the Japanese 'r' sound.
So much effort to make sounds that most people can do easily. O_O
I can get the annoying membrane under my tongue cut in surgery once I'm older, and I probably will do that. It's supposed to hurt a hell of a lot afterwards, but I think I can deal with it.
Curses. Of all the rotten luck...
Apr 29, 2011
Lol Youtube
It seems that all the AMV's I had taken down 3 years ago are now back up, despite me never attempting to resolve the copyright issues. Not that I'm complaining. I had two videos with over 10,000 views and I didn't want to lose that count. I'm still rather proud of it ^^
I should do some more AMV's. I haven't contribute to my fandoms in a long time. I've become a rather bad lurker. Back in 2007 or so I was pretty well known within the Code Lyoko community... Eh, I doubt I'm even remembered now. No matter, I can't remember the last time I watched the show, so I'm not all that fussed.
I wish I had the time to mess about on forums and whatnot. I really miss the online communities. Then again, at the time those communities were all I had when it came to cartoons and anime. I have friends who have similar tastes in television to me now, so I don't have that same desire for connection as I did back then.
This post is pretty redundant. Just a musing or two of mine.
Oh, here, this'll make up for the rather empty post. I was in love with this track for a good portion of junior high. ♪ Enjoy.
You don't wanna hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder,
And there's a thunder in our hearts, baby.
So much hate for the ones we love.
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?
I should do some more AMV's. I haven't contribute to my fandoms in a long time. I've become a rather bad lurker. Back in 2007 or so I was pretty well known within the Code Lyoko community... Eh, I doubt I'm even remembered now. No matter, I can't remember the last time I watched the show, so I'm not all that fussed.
I wish I had the time to mess about on forums and whatnot. I really miss the online communities. Then again, at the time those communities were all I had when it came to cartoons and anime. I have friends who have similar tastes in television to me now, so I don't have that same desire for connection as I did back then.
This post is pretty redundant. Just a musing or two of mine.
Oh, here, this'll make up for the rather empty post. I was in love with this track for a good portion of junior high. ♪ Enjoy.
You don't wanna hurt me,
But see how deep the bullet lies.
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder,
And there's a thunder in our hearts, baby.
So much hate for the ones we love.
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?
Apr 28, 2011
I Can Tell Tomorrow Will Suck.
Like, a lot.
I feel bad.
Really bad.
Lethargic, empty, slightly angry, unmotivated...
Like shit, basically. I kind of want to cry.
I'm managing not to, though. Barely.
I'm not sure what brought this on. I know what the final 'push' was, so to speak, but I'm sure there's more to my current emotional state than that.
I'm tired, but if I go to bed now my mind will wander, and I'll end up questioning things that don't deserve to be questioned, and I'll just think about things that will ultimately hurt me more than reality ever could.
So I'll wait until I cannot stay awake any longer. I'd rather fall (read: pass out) into a deep sleep that I'll wake suddenly from, with no recollection of any dreams or possible imaginings from before I fell asleep. That's much preferable to spending hours attempting to get to sleep, only to find yourself daydreaming for half the night.
Because of this, I will be tired in the morning. Tired, irritable and moody. Too tired to think properly. But that's kind of what I want. Being tired is better than thinking.
At least, right now it is.
My own thoughts are plaguing me right now. I can't get away from that.
Starving myself of sleep does tend to offset everything, at least for a little bit. I look worse because of it, but I'm not thinking as much. And that's the goal I'm trying to achieve by not sleeping.
I can run away from my problems. From people, from responsibilities, from everything. But I can't run away from my own mind. Not really.
Sometimes, I absolutely hate him for making me feel like this, even if it's unknowing on his part.
Sometimes I hate my family for being so distant and for having these conflicts that I am both a part of and excluded from.
Sometimes I hate my friends for not quite knowing what to do, even though it's my own fault for not telling them the extent of my problems. I don't think any of them knew I was in this mood until... half an hour ago.
Sometimes I hate myself, for that same reason.
Mostly, I hate myself for holding on to things so tightly. And for falling so easily (not just in love, but with friends). I shouldn't trust so easily. But I do.
And I allow myself to be hurt when they don't reach my high expectations of them. Expectations I shouldn't have of people who aren't truly that close to me in the first place. Really, I think a lot of my friendships occur in my mind.
Really, I think a lot of my musings are total bullshit. Like this little 'stream-of-consciousness' rant I have going here. Which should be an internal rant.
I rant too often. But it's easier than trying to hold a conversation about these things. It's much easier to blog.
It's much easier to hold a smile and grin, laugh, throw a few hugs in there for good measure. Be over the top, overwhelm people, because then they don't have time to question you or your happiness.
I'd rather do that than explain what's wrong, sometimes.
Actually, I've noticed that when someone starts looking at me oddly, I'll panic and end up practically accosting someone else by poking them or hitting them or... anything to distract the person who may or may not have noticed what's wrong.
That's kinda immature, but at least it works.
And I'd rather be immature than dull. I'd rather dance around the problems than have some emotional confrontation, to be honest.
I'd rather not cause something and make things worse.
I like how things are now. I preferred things a month or two ago, but this is okay, too.
Everything's okay.
It'll all be okay, in the end.
I feel bad.
Really bad.
Lethargic, empty, slightly angry, unmotivated...
Like shit, basically. I kind of want to cry.
I'm managing not to, though. Barely.
I'm not sure what brought this on. I know what the final 'push' was, so to speak, but I'm sure there's more to my current emotional state than that.
I'm tired, but if I go to bed now my mind will wander, and I'll end up questioning things that don't deserve to be questioned, and I'll just think about things that will ultimately hurt me more than reality ever could.
So I'll wait until I cannot stay awake any longer. I'd rather fall (read: pass out) into a deep sleep that I'll wake suddenly from, with no recollection of any dreams or possible imaginings from before I fell asleep. That's much preferable to spending hours attempting to get to sleep, only to find yourself daydreaming for half the night.
Because of this, I will be tired in the morning. Tired, irritable and moody. Too tired to think properly. But that's kind of what I want. Being tired is better than thinking.
At least, right now it is.
My own thoughts are plaguing me right now. I can't get away from that.
Starving myself of sleep does tend to offset everything, at least for a little bit. I look worse because of it, but I'm not thinking as much. And that's the goal I'm trying to achieve by not sleeping.
I can run away from my problems. From people, from responsibilities, from everything. But I can't run away from my own mind. Not really.
Sometimes, I absolutely hate him for making me feel like this, even if it's unknowing on his part.
Sometimes I hate my family for being so distant and for having these conflicts that I am both a part of and excluded from.
Sometimes I hate my friends for not quite knowing what to do, even though it's my own fault for not telling them the extent of my problems. I don't think any of them knew I was in this mood until... half an hour ago.
Sometimes I hate myself, for that same reason.
Mostly, I hate myself for holding on to things so tightly. And for falling so easily (not just in love, but with friends). I shouldn't trust so easily. But I do.
And I allow myself to be hurt when they don't reach my high expectations of them. Expectations I shouldn't have of people who aren't truly that close to me in the first place. Really, I think a lot of my friendships occur in my mind.
Really, I think a lot of my musings are total bullshit. Like this little 'stream-of-consciousness' rant I have going here. Which should be an internal rant.
I rant too often. But it's easier than trying to hold a conversation about these things. It's much easier to blog.
It's much easier to hold a smile and grin, laugh, throw a few hugs in there for good measure. Be over the top, overwhelm people, because then they don't have time to question you or your happiness.
I'd rather do that than explain what's wrong, sometimes.
Actually, I've noticed that when someone starts looking at me oddly, I'll panic and end up practically accosting someone else by poking them or hitting them or... anything to distract the person who may or may not have noticed what's wrong.
That's kinda immature, but at least it works.
And I'd rather be immature than dull. I'd rather dance around the problems than have some emotional confrontation, to be honest.
I'd rather not cause something and make things worse.
I like how things are now. I preferred things a month or two ago, but this is okay, too.
Everything's okay.
It'll all be okay, in the end.
Why Learning Shakespeare is Totally Redundant (For Me, At Least)
So I'm studying Shakespeare at school. Again. Which is funny, because I was talking about this with my Dad just the other day. My Dad is a smart man, so imagine my surprise when he told me that he never liked Shakespeare. Okay, maybe it's not surprising, but... well, Dad is a bit of a literature nerd, so I always thought... eh, well, I'm not complaining, because I despise Shakespeare and think that learning about his plays is a waste of my time.
Studying Shakespeare makes very little sense, if you ask me. And if you ask Dad, apparently. Not that you should be contacting my Dad about Shakespeare. Seriously guys, that's weird, please don't try to engage him in a conversation regarding some old dead guys stories.
Ahem. Shakespeare's plays were amazing for his time, and I mean, if you want to learn about important literature from the past, then obviously his work will be vital to study. That said, his works aren't very... uhm, informative for those studying only core English today.
His language is dated (duh) and I will never understand his comedies. The jokes just get lost on me. And yes, the tragedies are, you know, tragic, but not full-on or memorable enough for me to care.
I've always hated the characterisation in Shakespeare (or lack thereof, depending on the chosen text. Yes, I went there. I'm not going to bitch about the two-dimensional characters used though) and I've never truly fallen for any of the plot lines.
I just... don't like Shakespeare.
And how are you meant to get the students to pay attention if you're teaching them works that use language we can't properly understand? Granted, I can read his plays without too much hassle now, but when I first started I had an online Shakespearean dictionary open. Nobody wants to look up every third word as they read. Trust me on that.
It's not just the language though. I tried so damn hard to get into Romeo and Juliet. I read the play, I watched both versions of the movie, I watched the anime, I read an online novelisation... none of it stuck. And I mean, the movies, the anime and the original play are so different, so you'd think I'd enjoy at least one of them... One of the movies stayed true to the era it was written for, the other featured a modern-day setting, and the anime was set in a futuristic 'neo-Verona' with flying horses. They are clearly very, very different, but... I don't know what it is about that story, but I never truly liked any of the adaptions. There's just... something there that never sits quite right with me.
I've read a number of other plays by him, but to no avail. I haven't bothered to look up other adaptions of his works. I don't see the point. I know I won't like it. At all. I will give him credit where it's due; as I said, his work would have been amazing when it was written. It just hasn't aged well, if you ask me (And hey, if people are going to tell me the Nintendo 64 games haven't aged well [which, you know, they haven't], then I have every right to say the same about Shakespeare).
Perhaps this is why I've given up on pursuing a career in English literature outside of school. I don't know many literary nerds who agree that Shakespeare is grossly overrated for our time. x3
Also, we should study T.S. Elliot. Oh my God I am in love with his poetry. Why can't we study that instead, what is this I don't even-
Studying Shakespeare makes very little sense, if you ask me. And if you ask Dad, apparently. Not that you should be contacting my Dad about Shakespeare. Seriously guys, that's weird, please don't try to engage him in a conversation regarding some old dead guys stories.
Ahem. Shakespeare's plays were amazing for his time, and I mean, if you want to learn about important literature from the past, then obviously his work will be vital to study. That said, his works aren't very... uhm, informative for those studying only core English today.
His language is dated (duh) and I will never understand his comedies. The jokes just get lost on me. And yes, the tragedies are, you know, tragic, but not full-on or memorable enough for me to care.
I've always hated the characterisation in Shakespeare (or lack thereof, depending on the chosen text. Yes, I went there. I'm not going to bitch about the two-dimensional characters used though) and I've never truly fallen for any of the plot lines.
I just... don't like Shakespeare.
And how are you meant to get the students to pay attention if you're teaching them works that use language we can't properly understand? Granted, I can read his plays without too much hassle now, but when I first started I had an online Shakespearean dictionary open. Nobody wants to look up every third word as they read. Trust me on that.
It's not just the language though. I tried so damn hard to get into Romeo and Juliet. I read the play, I watched both versions of the movie, I watched the anime, I read an online novelisation... none of it stuck. And I mean, the movies, the anime and the original play are so different, so you'd think I'd enjoy at least one of them... One of the movies stayed true to the era it was written for, the other featured a modern-day setting, and the anime was set in a futuristic 'neo-Verona' with flying horses. They are clearly very, very different, but... I don't know what it is about that story, but I never truly liked any of the adaptions. There's just... something there that never sits quite right with me.
I've read a number of other plays by him, but to no avail. I haven't bothered to look up other adaptions of his works. I don't see the point. I know I won't like it. At all. I will give him credit where it's due; as I said, his work would have been amazing when it was written. It just hasn't aged well, if you ask me (And hey, if people are going to tell me the Nintendo 64 games haven't aged well [which, you know, they haven't], then I have every right to say the same about Shakespeare).
Perhaps this is why I've given up on pursuing a career in English literature outside of school. I don't know many literary nerds who agree that Shakespeare is grossly overrated for our time. x3
Also, we should study T.S. Elliot. Oh my God I am in love with his poetry. Why can't we study that instead, what is this I don't even-
Apr 26, 2011
I Don't Even Know What This Is
So I was listening to Pieces by Sum 41. Which is odd for me, as that's not really the sort of music I'd listen to on a regular basis. That doesn't change the fact that I was listening to them, though, and certainly doesn't change the fact that I adore that song (despite how shameful that may or may not be for me).
Actually, I like a lot of their songs... Eh, but I digress.
The lyrics are kinda emo. Very emo. Whatever. They make the old point of 'be yourself, don't try to be perfect, it's not going to work, it's not worth it' and so on. And then I was thinking (and maybe reading Fanfiction which inspired said thoughts... that's not really the point) and I ended up deciding that I wouldn't want anyone to be 'perfect', anyway. Ignoring the fact that everyone's idea of perfection would be different, I feel that having no flaws would be terribly boring. I couldn't befriend someone who was flawless. I'd feel so very inadequate and I don't think I'd relate to them at all.
'Cause, you know, I'm not perfect. I take great pride in being as imperfect as possible. I have the tendency to try and make people angry, and I try my hardest to prove people wrong at all times regardless of their feelings. I can't be bothered to change that. I have no issues with it either. Maybe that makes me a total bitch, I don't know. I don't care.
Er, anyway. I think the greatest thing about people is how horrible we all are. I want friends that I can argue with and prove wrong (and I guess they can be right on occasion, just to keep my ego in check). If I'm going to have a friend, I want to know all of them. Not just their best traits, but also their worst. In fact, I don't care about the good traits, the ones they flaunt to everyone, because they aren't special. Often, you'll find said traits to be carefully crafted so that the person comes off as nice/friendly/etc, and those traits aren't really a reflection of their personality in the least. It's the bad aspects of their personalities that make them who they are. The traits they're more likely to hide, the ones that couldn't possibly be made up. That's who they are, right? And I want to know that side of my friends.
The good traits are known by all, the worst traits are known by few. I feel privileged to know people intimately enough to have a thorough understanding of both the good and the bad. Especially the bad.
I don't know how I managed to romanticise the fact that I have this strange fetish for the worst personality traits. I'm just that epic, I suppose. ^^
Actually, I like a lot of their songs... Eh, but I digress.
The lyrics are kinda emo. Very emo. Whatever. They make the old point of 'be yourself, don't try to be perfect, it's not going to work, it's not worth it' and so on. And then I was thinking (and maybe reading Fanfiction which inspired said thoughts... that's not really the point) and I ended up deciding that I wouldn't want anyone to be 'perfect', anyway. Ignoring the fact that everyone's idea of perfection would be different, I feel that having no flaws would be terribly boring. I couldn't befriend someone who was flawless. I'd feel so very inadequate and I don't think I'd relate to them at all.
'Cause, you know, I'm not perfect. I take great pride in being as imperfect as possible. I have the tendency to try and make people angry, and I try my hardest to prove people wrong at all times regardless of their feelings. I can't be bothered to change that. I have no issues with it either. Maybe that makes me a total bitch, I don't know. I don't care.
Er, anyway. I think the greatest thing about people is how horrible we all are. I want friends that I can argue with and prove wrong (and I guess they can be right on occasion, just to keep my ego in check). If I'm going to have a friend, I want to know all of them. Not just their best traits, but also their worst. In fact, I don't care about the good traits, the ones they flaunt to everyone, because they aren't special. Often, you'll find said traits to be carefully crafted so that the person comes off as nice/friendly/etc, and those traits aren't really a reflection of their personality in the least. It's the bad aspects of their personalities that make them who they are. The traits they're more likely to hide, the ones that couldn't possibly be made up. That's who they are, right? And I want to know that side of my friends.
The good traits are known by all, the worst traits are known by few. I feel privileged to know people intimately enough to have a thorough understanding of both the good and the bad. Especially the bad.
I don't know how I managed to romanticise the fact that I have this strange fetish for the worst personality traits. I'm just that epic, I suppose. ^^
Apr 25, 2011
Confused but Relaxed. Yay~
Like, the day after I posted that rant, I was involved in some conversation with him. I wasn't exactly spoken to directly, but hey, I'm not going to complain.
I still doubt he read the blog post, but oh well. The rant hasn't been made redundant though. I'm still... eh, not annoyed, that's not the right word. I'm not exactly the happiest kid around though. Then again, the comments posted on my rant were epic and heartwarming. How can I be upset with all these guys with me?
Ah, well, anyway. I've spent the five-day-weekend doing very little. Eating chocolate (I haven't had a proper meal for three days. Yay Easter) and chilling. Dad tried to fix up our internet issues but has only succeeded in making them worse. My laptop can't even find the wireless network (though Dad's can, and the rest of the networks in the area show up fine for me) and the wired desktop has... er, issues. I don't even know how to explain it. It's like, every now and then half of my web pages won't load. Like yesterday, I could go on Google and browse Wikipedia, but every other site I went on wouldn't load. At all. Very weird indeed. So I've been playing The Sims on the laptop and listening to Hetalia music. As you do.
It's a good way to waste time. This weekend has been highly unproductive. It's brilliant.
The Hetalia cast's cover of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is adorable. Having the song sung in different languages (probably very fractured versions of the languages, but it's still cool) is strangely nice to listen to. It's... er, multicultural and awesome. Sugiyama-san's English is actually quite good though, so perhaps the other languages turned out alright as well? I can't tell. Regardless, it's an adorable track ^^
I still doubt he read the blog post, but oh well. The rant hasn't been made redundant though. I'm still... eh, not annoyed, that's not the right word. I'm not exactly the happiest kid around though. Then again, the comments posted on my rant were epic and heartwarming. How can I be upset with all these guys with me?
Ah, well, anyway. I've spent the five-day-weekend doing very little. Eating chocolate (I haven't had a proper meal for three days. Yay Easter) and chilling. Dad tried to fix up our internet issues but has only succeeded in making them worse. My laptop can't even find the wireless network (though Dad's can, and the rest of the networks in the area show up fine for me) and the wired desktop has... er, issues. I don't even know how to explain it. It's like, every now and then half of my web pages won't load. Like yesterday, I could go on Google and browse Wikipedia, but every other site I went on wouldn't load. At all. Very weird indeed. So I've been playing The Sims on the laptop and listening to Hetalia music. As you do.
It's a good way to waste time. This weekend has been highly unproductive. It's brilliant.
The Hetalia cast's cover of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" is adorable. Having the song sung in different languages (probably very fractured versions of the languages, but it's still cool) is strangely nice to listen to. It's... er, multicultural and awesome. Sugiyama-san's English is actually quite good though, so perhaps the other languages turned out alright as well? I can't tell. Regardless, it's an adorable track ^^
Apr 20, 2011
Dropping From A to B (And A Direct Rant)
I've always been an A student. My entire life. In primary/elementary school I was the nerd (then again, I went to a pretty bad public school. You were smart for knowing multiplication in grade 7). Seriously, I was the dorky, smart kid in my year group, pretty much. By grade 6 it became rather evident that my maths abilities were lacking, but I was still getting some of the higher marks.
Now I'm in grade 12. The hardest, most important year of my school life (excluding uni, but you know) and yet I cannot bring myself to care. I mean, the whole not-caring thing never affected me that much. I stopped trying in year 8. It just never showed through my marks until recently. Last year my English grades ended up settling on A- and in both Music and Drama my grades have dropped to a B... possibly lower in Drama. Well, definitely lower. But that's fine.
Really, I don't need an OP. There are plenty of opportunities for those lazy ass kids like me out there. It'd be nice to have some motivation to work though, because while it isn't the be-all-and-end-all of my life, a good OP will help me greatly. Obviously. Well, obviously for us Aussies. I don't know how school works in other countries, nor do I really care.
Eh, but I digress. I'm finding it so difficult to focus. It's funny, because I don't think I'm stupid. Just... unmotivated. I have no interest in Brechtian Theatre, so my Drama assignment is... you know, on hiatus. Now, if you check out my Japanese study, once I start I will continue learning for hours. Give me something I have an interest in and I'll take it on board with great fervour. Give me something I dislike, and I'll kinda forget about it. For a long, long time.
I'm planning on doing my Drama assignment in the morning, even though it's due tomorrow. Maybe I'll set my alarm for three am? I should be able to get it done then...
Anyway, I'd say I'm stressed out but I'm truly not. There are times when it'll just hit me that Oh my God I am doing so, so badly but give me an hour and I'll go back to being relatively indifferent. I'm more likely to ride things out and hope for the best than actually get off my behind and do something productive.
Stress isn't a big issue for me. Never really has been.
Still, I'm quite annoyed at a bunch of things at the moment... and while I still think 'stress' is the wrong word, I'll have you know that these things have been playing on my mind a lot. And yeah, it's getting me down. My grades being one of those things (I don't deserve an A, but I still feel horribly disappointed when I discover how badly I'm doing) as well as my lack of motivation. Other stuff being family issues (though things are pretty calm currently), money issues (no one wants to employ me), uni issues (how I'm going to know Japanese well enough for uni next year, I do not know) and friendship issues.
Warning: Rant. (TL;DR: I like you but if you don't act like a friend soon I'm going to give up)
Just so you know, if I say I want to be your friend. I like you a lot at some point, it means that I really bloody like you and I'd like to keep our friendship the way it is, mmkay? I thought that should be bleeding obvious. Being ignored is never fun, especially when you have no idea what you've done wrong. Right now, I feel like I must have been an annoyance, or perhaps just, I dunno, totally unliked... Which sucks, because the situation was reversed only a few months ago and I went out of my way to fix things. To explain that I cared, that all our friends cared, and that this person is (was?) important to us.
Goddamn, seems I wrote that sappy, lame, truthful paragraph to you back then for no reason, because you seem pretty happy to just pretend I no longer exist now.
And you know, it hurts. Quite a bit. But that's alright. I'll get through. Ride things out, wait for everything to look up. It's how I deal with everything else, right? It's how I've dealt with our friendship in the past, and it's always worked before.
I'll wait for you to act like a proper friend. If you don't, then I won't bother to confront you in person, nor will I attempt to keep in contact with you once we're out of school. I never expected you to stay in contact with me anyway. If you do start talking to me again, I'll act the same way I always have. I love your attention, I love our conversations. But I'm not going to exert any effort trying to keep you around. It's too difficult, it's not fair and I've never been one to fight for a lost cause.
I'm fine with writing this, because I know you won't read it. You don't care enough to check my blogs and you won't ask me what's wrong. God forbid you actually show some emotion for once.
...I hope you prove me wrong. I doubt you will.
Now I'm in grade 12. The hardest, most important year of my school life (excluding uni, but you know) and yet I cannot bring myself to care. I mean, the whole not-caring thing never affected me that much. I stopped trying in year 8. It just never showed through my marks until recently. Last year my English grades ended up settling on A- and in both Music and Drama my grades have dropped to a B... possibly lower in Drama. Well, definitely lower. But that's fine.
Really, I don't need an OP. There are plenty of opportunities for those lazy ass kids like me out there. It'd be nice to have some motivation to work though, because while it isn't the be-all-and-end-all of my life, a good OP will help me greatly. Obviously. Well, obviously for us Aussies. I don't know how school works in other countries, nor do I really care.
Eh, but I digress. I'm finding it so difficult to focus. It's funny, because I don't think I'm stupid. Just... unmotivated. I have no interest in Brechtian Theatre, so my Drama assignment is... you know, on hiatus. Now, if you check out my Japanese study, once I start I will continue learning for hours. Give me something I have an interest in and I'll take it on board with great fervour. Give me something I dislike, and I'll kinda forget about it. For a long, long time.
I'm planning on doing my Drama assignment in the morning, even though it's due tomorrow. Maybe I'll set my alarm for three am? I should be able to get it done then...
Anyway, I'd say I'm stressed out but I'm truly not. There are times when it'll just hit me that Oh my God I am doing so, so badly but give me an hour and I'll go back to being relatively indifferent. I'm more likely to ride things out and hope for the best than actually get off my behind and do something productive.
Stress isn't a big issue for me. Never really has been.
Still, I'm quite annoyed at a bunch of things at the moment... and while I still think 'stress' is the wrong word, I'll have you know that these things have been playing on my mind a lot. And yeah, it's getting me down. My grades being one of those things (I don't deserve an A, but I still feel horribly disappointed when I discover how badly I'm doing) as well as my lack of motivation. Other stuff being family issues (though things are pretty calm currently), money issues (no one wants to employ me), uni issues (how I'm going to know Japanese well enough for uni next year, I do not know) and friendship issues.
Warning: Rant. (TL;DR: I like you but if you don't act like a friend soon I'm going to give up)
Just so you know, if I say I want to be your friend. I like you a lot at some point, it means that I really bloody like you and I'd like to keep our friendship the way it is, mmkay? I thought that should be bleeding obvious. Being ignored is never fun, especially when you have no idea what you've done wrong. Right now, I feel like I must have been an annoyance, or perhaps just, I dunno, totally unliked... Which sucks, because the situation was reversed only a few months ago and I went out of my way to fix things. To explain that I cared, that all our friends cared, and that this person is (was?) important to us.
Goddamn, seems I wrote that sappy, lame, truthful paragraph to you back then for no reason, because you seem pretty happy to just pretend I no longer exist now.
And you know, it hurts. Quite a bit. But that's alright. I'll get through. Ride things out, wait for everything to look up. It's how I deal with everything else, right? It's how I've dealt with our friendship in the past, and it's always worked before.
I'll wait for you to act like a proper friend. If you don't, then I won't bother to confront you in person, nor will I attempt to keep in contact with you once we're out of school. I never expected you to stay in contact with me anyway. If you do start talking to me again, I'll act the same way I always have. I love your attention, I love our conversations. But I'm not going to exert any effort trying to keep you around. It's too difficult, it's not fair and I've never been one to fight for a lost cause.
I'm fine with writing this, because I know you won't read it. You don't care enough to check my blogs and you won't ask me what's wrong. God forbid you actually show some emotion for once.
...I hope you prove me wrong. I doubt you will.
Apr 13, 2011
It Took A Lot To Not Name This Entry After Rebecca Black
I was going to write something along the lines of 'party and party and YEAH' or 'fun fun fun fun' as the title, but I shall refrain from doing that. Besides, I've already used both of those in previous posts.
(Also, I will admit to not knowing what words to capitalise and what words to leave entirely in lower case when writing titles. Whoops. Guess I'll just capitalise the entire thing and hope nobody notices).
It took two hours, but I managed to write 900 words on a book I skimmed over, analysing it with a literary theory that I don't fully understand. I am so proud of myself.
Who the hell decided I should go with formalism? Oh wait, that was me. Well then. That was a stupid idea, wasn't it?
Now to go finish my Drama assignment. Aw dang. That's going to suck.
This house is great with bugs and creepy crawlies. Gradually, a family of baby spiders spread out across the ceiling. I was typing away happily (or not so happily) when I just so happened to look up. They were both above and in front of me. It was quite creepy, but I couldn't be bothered moving so I just sort of... kept chilling with them. They seemed friendly enough, and only one was walking around. Perhaps the others were sleeping? Dad just came in and sprayed them for me so I have taken refuge in the other, less awesome lounge room. =3
The tiredness is slowly kicking in. My eyes feel kinda heavy but my brain seems to be alert still. I think today will be hell at school, but I'll live. Probably. Unless I get hit by a bus on the short trip from the car to the pavement outside the school. That seems rather unlikely, though stranger things have happened.
I survived my 3am working session and have worked more efficiently than I usually do. I still don't know why I work so much better in the morning. My attentiveness just kind of fades away into nothing by the afternoon. Which is rather unfortunate. I'm a bit of an insomniac so I always have trouble falling asleep. As such, I'll purposefully stay up late so I am tired when I go to bed and fall asleep immediately rather than end up tossing and turning all night. That, coupled with early mornings, can not be good.
I am my own worst enemy, it would seem.
The roosters just started making noise next door. Oh my God shut up fml.
Edit: I totally didn't spend the last 15 minutes downloading skins and meshes for Sims 2 based on Hetalia characters. Definitely not.
K, maybe I did. Whatever. My Death Note Sims are boring me. Light won't kill anyone and my one source of drama (ie: Mello sleeping with everyone) is no longer dramatic. Seems the rest of the Wammy kids' are perfectly okay with being cheated on. o_O Strange children.
Edit 2: I just found Sims 2 boxer shorts coloured in the different nations flags. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite as beautiful as this *flails* I don't even wear boxers and I desperately want a pair with the union jack on them<3
(Also, I will admit to not knowing what words to capitalise and what words to leave entirely in lower case when writing titles. Whoops. Guess I'll just capitalise the entire thing and hope nobody notices).
It took two hours, but I managed to write 900 words on a book I skimmed over, analysing it with a literary theory that I don't fully understand. I am so proud of myself.
Who the hell decided I should go with formalism? Oh wait, that was me. Well then. That was a stupid idea, wasn't it?
Now to go finish my Drama assignment. Aw dang. That's going to suck.
This house is great with bugs and creepy crawlies. Gradually, a family of baby spiders spread out across the ceiling. I was typing away happily (or not so happily) when I just so happened to look up. They were both above and in front of me. It was quite creepy, but I couldn't be bothered moving so I just sort of... kept chilling with them. They seemed friendly enough, and only one was walking around. Perhaps the others were sleeping? Dad just came in and sprayed them for me so I have taken refuge in the other, less awesome lounge room. =3
The tiredness is slowly kicking in. My eyes feel kinda heavy but my brain seems to be alert still. I think today will be hell at school, but I'll live. Probably. Unless I get hit by a bus on the short trip from the car to the pavement outside the school. That seems rather unlikely, though stranger things have happened.
I survived my 3am working session and have worked more efficiently than I usually do. I still don't know why I work so much better in the morning. My attentiveness just kind of fades away into nothing by the afternoon. Which is rather unfortunate. I'm a bit of an insomniac so I always have trouble falling asleep. As such, I'll purposefully stay up late so I am tired when I go to bed and fall asleep immediately rather than end up tossing and turning all night. That, coupled with early mornings, can not be good.
I am my own worst enemy, it would seem.
The roosters just started making noise next door. Oh my God shut up fml.
Edit: I totally didn't spend the last 15 minutes downloading skins and meshes for Sims 2 based on Hetalia characters. Definitely not.
K, maybe I did. Whatever. My Death Note Sims are boring me. Light won't kill anyone and my one source of drama (ie: Mello sleeping with everyone) is no longer dramatic. Seems the rest of the Wammy kids' are perfectly okay with being cheated on. o_O Strange children.
Edit 2: I just found Sims 2 boxer shorts coloured in the different nations flags. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite as beautiful as this *flails* I don't even wear boxers and I desperately want a pair with the union jack on them<3
I Hate Mornings
The title makes me think of Garfield. I love that cat. And I agree with him; Mondays suck.
I tried to be uber quiet when I woke up this morning so everyone else could remain asleep. The house was silent and dark, and each slight movement reverberated through my entire room and echoed down the hall. The shadows cast by the light of my phone danced upon the walls but, obviously (and thankfully enough) they did not make sounds as they slid from surface to surface, though at times I almost expected them to. Yes, the house was indeed the quietest it had been for quite some time.
Cue me stumbling down the ladder of my bunk, dropping everything over my desk and almost slamming into the hallway door. Good God, I think the neighbours five houses down heard me get up.
I obviously do not have a stealthy bone in my body, despite the stories I've been told from my family in the wars and the fact that my Dad is able to get up, make himself breakfast and coffee and start exercising outside without any of us ever waking. And then there's me, who can't get out of bed without alerting the entirety of my suburb.
Go figure.
I've also managed to drop half a biscuit in my tea, so it tastes all chocolate-y and weird. But that's neither here nor there, really. It's just... annoying, yes, that's a very good word. I feel very annoyed.
I've been up for half an hour now. It's about 3:30. The last time I woke up this early was to catch a plane, so I'm feeling rather disorientated. I'm only awake to finish (read: start) an assignment, you see. It's my own bloody fault for leaving it until the last minute, right? Still, I'm annoyed at the existence of such an assignment. How dare it take away my free time? I could be sleeping! Hell, I could be watching anime. Right now.
F.M.L. orz
There is a positive though. I seem to think better in the mornings. I'm much more cynical and bitchy, but at least my writing tends to improve. Well, my vocabulary does. My grammatical ability tends to fall, but I can proof read later. Here's hoping I do get this assignment done.
It's inching closer and closer to 4am, so I should start soon. If I skip instrumental this morning, I'll have 4 hours to work. I can totally do this!
Also this is not procrastinating. I'm blogging to get my mind into a writing mood. Yes. That's what I'm doing. Mmhm.
Each time I go to have a drink I can taste the chocolate and feel the biscuit crumbs floating in my tea. FFFfffff-
I tried to be uber quiet when I woke up this morning so everyone else could remain asleep. The house was silent and dark, and each slight movement reverberated through my entire room and echoed down the hall. The shadows cast by the light of my phone danced upon the walls but, obviously (and thankfully enough) they did not make sounds as they slid from surface to surface, though at times I almost expected them to. Yes, the house was indeed the quietest it had been for quite some time.
Cue me stumbling down the ladder of my bunk, dropping everything over my desk and almost slamming into the hallway door. Good God, I think the neighbours five houses down heard me get up.
I obviously do not have a stealthy bone in my body, despite the stories I've been told from my family in the wars and the fact that my Dad is able to get up, make himself breakfast and coffee and start exercising outside without any of us ever waking. And then there's me, who can't get out of bed without alerting the entirety of my suburb.
Go figure.
I've also managed to drop half a biscuit in my tea, so it tastes all chocolate-y and weird. But that's neither here nor there, really. It's just... annoying, yes, that's a very good word. I feel very annoyed.
I've been up for half an hour now. It's about 3:30. The last time I woke up this early was to catch a plane, so I'm feeling rather disorientated. I'm only awake to finish (read: start) an assignment, you see. It's my own bloody fault for leaving it until the last minute, right? Still, I'm annoyed at the existence of such an assignment. How dare it take away my free time? I could be sleeping! Hell, I could be watching anime. Right now.
F.M.L. orz
There is a positive though. I seem to think better in the mornings. I'm much more cynical and bitchy, but at least my writing tends to improve. Well, my vocabulary does. My grammatical ability tends to fall, but I can proof read later. Here's hoping I do get this assignment done.
It's inching closer and closer to 4am, so I should start soon. If I skip instrumental this morning, I'll have 4 hours to work. I can totally do this!
Also this is not procrastinating. I'm blogging to get my mind into a writing mood. Yes. That's what I'm doing. Mmhm.
Each time I go to have a drink I can taste the chocolate and feel the biscuit crumbs floating in my tea. FFFfffff-
Apr 9, 2011
Drinking Tea and Listening to the Sex Pistols
That's totally a normal combination. Other than the whole being-out-of-Europe thing, I doubt the Sex Pistols and tea have very much in common. Maybe the band members drank tea, I don't know. I don't really care to find out.
I am also listening to Ramones and The Clash. There are a few other 'new' bands that I've recently downloaded, but those three appear to be the ones I'm listening to the most. Thank you, Lainey, for educating me on punk. Not that I was totally clueless (I've only loved the fashion for like, forever) but, you know...
Once again I have left every single assignment until the last minute. Oh well. Time to go read fanfiction or something.
There are four ants on the ceiling and I'm worried that there are more, but I don't really want to go check. The spiders leave for winter and every other little creature moves in. Brilliant.
If my internet cuts out one more time I will strangle someone.
I am also listening to Ramones and The Clash. There are a few other 'new' bands that I've recently downloaded, but those three appear to be the ones I'm listening to the most. Thank you, Lainey, for educating me on punk. Not that I was totally clueless (I've only loved the fashion for like, forever) but, you know...
Once again I have left every single assignment until the last minute. Oh well. Time to go read fanfiction or something.
There are four ants on the ceiling and I'm worried that there are more, but I don't really want to go check. The spiders leave for winter and every other little creature moves in. Brilliant.
If my internet cuts out one more time I will strangle someone.
Apr 5, 2011
Heta Oni
Uninstall, uninstall,
I know longer have a choice but to pretend,
I am brave,
For a soldier has to be brave.
I don't watch people playing games. I either play the games myself, or participate in other ways (ie distracting the player). I think I watched one 'Let's Play' vid on Zelda: Ocarina of Time, but that was because the voice overs were hilarious.
Anyway, I have discovered an RPG that I am very happy to sit back and watch. Heta Oni is based off of Ao Oni which is a Japanese horror game. While Ao Oni is (obviously) an RPG, Heta Oni isn't actually playable. You just have to watch the videos of the 'gameplay' on Youtube. Which sounds boring. It's not. Trust me. It takes the original story but uses the characters from Axis Powers Hetalia (which is what got me interested in the first place). You don't really need to be familiar with the show to watch the RPG though.
You know, it's kind of like a fusion between Hetalia and Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni. Weird mix, that... strangely enough, it does work. Obviously Heta Oni isn't as violent (in fact, you see no gore whatsoever, it's just described... well, except for the white room covered in bloody handprints... that's it, though) but it seems to tug at the heartstrings more than Higurashi did.
It starts when Italy hears of a haunted house. He tells America, who convinces everyone else to go along. You soon find out it's not haunted with ghosts, but aliens. So obviously it's not going to be that scary. Aliens are overrated.
The first few episodes are really dull. As it goes on, the plot becomes more warped and twisted. Watching it is emotionally draining; you find yourself attached to these characters, and while the aliens truly aren't scary, you do feel scared for the characters. In episode 16 my heart was racing and I caught myself mouthing for the characters to stop and run and to be honest, I've never really reacted that badly to something.
If you're familiar with Higurashi, you'll find many similarities. I'm not sure how to describe this without adding spoilers... basically, it's a time loop. [Epic spoiler here]: If not everyone gets out alive, Italy or England will reverse time and they have to start all over again. This explains the OoC-ness at the beginning. Italy isn't terrified because he's been through it already. There are many plot spins and things that just make you go what. They don't feel like they were thrown in to get a reaction though, because everything has (so far) linked together perfectly.
The underlying points the game seems to make are
- You should rely on your friends (and allow them to rely on you)
- Trust those around you.
- Be brave in the face of danger, but don't put on an act for your friends.
- Yeah, trust, again. That can't be driven home enough.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help.
- But hey, even if you do all that, sometimes you're totally screwed anyway. (That's probably not meant to be one of the points, but that's how I viewed the last two episodes...)
And look, anything this horrific and dark is going to draw us in. It's easier to relate to a characters pain than it is to react to a happy plot, and there's enough darkness in this storyline to keep you on your toes. That said, there's still a dash of hope in everything the characters do which will keep you interested and praying that things turn out well. There's still a chance they'll survive, and, in my case, at least, I'm holding onto that slim chance as much as I can.
The 'game' has a pretty strong following. There are hours of gameplay and, once you get to episode 7 or so, you're not going to want to stop watching it.
Honestly, I almost cried when I reached the end of episode 17 p1. I need part 2. Now. O_O
There's a lot of fanart and MAD/AMV'S to watch once you've finished with Heta Oni, so it's hard not to get hooked.
I do have one bad thing to say about it though. At the beginning, the character portraits are hilariously bad. They get better.
Um, this also has one of the greatest soundtracks. One of the greatest.
This vid here isn't from the game. It was drawn by one of the fans, but it's hella good so I'll share it. This is the English fandub of the song, btw. The original is better vocally, but it's good being able to understand the lyrics. Skip to 16 seconds in if you want to ignore the intro.
There is a lot of emphasis on clocks and time. Not much I can say about that here without it being spoiler-filled though.
There are some lines you'd only get if you had watched Hetalia (like America calling his glasses Texas or Italy being able to tie his shoelaces...) but it's not too heavy on the references. So regardless of whether you've watched Hetalia or not, I suggest you go watch this RPG. You won't regret it.
Well, you might. I regret it because I am desperate to know what happens next and I can't stop obsessing xD
Currently two characters are stuck in a time loop they don't belong in, one character has gone completely blind, one seems to have died (well, his heart has stopped beating, God knows if that means he's dead or not) and now they can't go back and restart another time loop because the only two characters that can do that are unable to. What the hell are they going to do? Fffff- I need the next episode =/
I know longer have a choice but to pretend,
I am brave,
For a soldier has to be brave.
I don't watch people playing games. I either play the games myself, or participate in other ways (ie distracting the player). I think I watched one 'Let's Play' vid on Zelda: Ocarina of Time, but that was because the voice overs were hilarious.
Anyway, I have discovered an RPG that I am very happy to sit back and watch. Heta Oni is based off of Ao Oni which is a Japanese horror game. While Ao Oni is (obviously) an RPG, Heta Oni isn't actually playable. You just have to watch the videos of the 'gameplay' on Youtube. Which sounds boring. It's not. Trust me. It takes the original story but uses the characters from Axis Powers Hetalia (which is what got me interested in the first place). You don't really need to be familiar with the show to watch the RPG though.
You know, it's kind of like a fusion between Hetalia and Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni. Weird mix, that... strangely enough, it does work. Obviously Heta Oni isn't as violent (in fact, you see no gore whatsoever, it's just described... well, except for the white room covered in bloody handprints... that's it, though) but it seems to tug at the heartstrings more than Higurashi did.
It starts when Italy hears of a haunted house. He tells America, who convinces everyone else to go along. You soon find out it's not haunted with ghosts, but aliens. So obviously it's not going to be that scary. Aliens are overrated.
The first few episodes are really dull. As it goes on, the plot becomes more warped and twisted. Watching it is emotionally draining; you find yourself attached to these characters, and while the aliens truly aren't scary, you do feel scared for the characters. In episode 16 my heart was racing and I caught myself mouthing for the characters to stop and run and to be honest, I've never really reacted that badly to something.
If you're familiar with Higurashi, you'll find many similarities. I'm not sure how to describe this without adding spoilers... basically, it's a time loop. [Epic spoiler here]: If not everyone gets out alive, Italy or England will reverse time and they have to start all over again. This explains the OoC-ness at the beginning. Italy isn't terrified because he's been through it already. There are many plot spins and things that just make you go what. They don't feel like they were thrown in to get a reaction though, because everything has (so far) linked together perfectly.
The underlying points the game seems to make are
- You should rely on your friends (and allow them to rely on you)
- Trust those around you.
- Be brave in the face of danger, but don't put on an act for your friends.
- Yeah, trust, again. That can't be driven home enough.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help.
- But hey, even if you do all that, sometimes you're totally screwed anyway. (That's probably not meant to be one of the points, but that's how I viewed the last two episodes...)
And look, anything this horrific and dark is going to draw us in. It's easier to relate to a characters pain than it is to react to a happy plot, and there's enough darkness in this storyline to keep you on your toes. That said, there's still a dash of hope in everything the characters do which will keep you interested and praying that things turn out well. There's still a chance they'll survive, and, in my case, at least, I'm holding onto that slim chance as much as I can.
The 'game' has a pretty strong following. There are hours of gameplay and, once you get to episode 7 or so, you're not going to want to stop watching it.
Honestly, I almost cried when I reached the end of episode 17 p1. I need part 2. Now. O_O
There's a lot of fanart and MAD/AMV'S to watch once you've finished with Heta Oni, so it's hard not to get hooked.
I do have one bad thing to say about it though. At the beginning, the character portraits are hilariously bad. They get better.
Um, this also has one of the greatest soundtracks. One of the greatest.
This vid here isn't from the game. It was drawn by one of the fans, but it's hella good so I'll share it. This is the English fandub of the song, btw. The original is better vocally, but it's good being able to understand the lyrics. Skip to 16 seconds in if you want to ignore the intro.
There is a lot of emphasis on clocks and time. Not much I can say about that here without it being spoiler-filled though.
There are some lines you'd only get if you had watched Hetalia (like America calling his glasses Texas or Italy being able to tie his shoelaces...) but it's not too heavy on the references. So regardless of whether you've watched Hetalia or not, I suggest you go watch this RPG. You won't regret it.
Well, you might. I regret it because I am desperate to know what happens next and I can't stop obsessing xD
Currently two characters are stuck in a time loop they don't belong in, one character has gone completely blind, one seems to have died (well, his heart has stopped beating, God knows if that means he's dead or not) and now they can't go back and restart another time loop because the only two characters that can do that are unable to. What the hell are they going to do? Fffff- I need the next episode =/
Apr 3, 2011
Cosplay!
I have just returned from Supanova, which is the best our country has to offer when it comes to all things fandom-y. Honestly, we're not much when it comes to the otakus and general fanboys and girls. It's not that our country is excessively judgmental or anything (I see plenty of Lolita's around the CBD getting by with no hassle) but... I don't know... I always thought Australia just didn't have that kind of culture.
Well, I'm definitely wrong about that. The turnout at Supanova is always pretty epic. I wonder why we don't have more of these events...
Ah, anyway. It was nothing like what I expected, but it was also more than I expected (I know, that makes no sense). The stalls weren't as great as I wanted them to be (I still spent a good $200, but I was hoping to spend more, you know? There goes my 3DS money) but the crowds were amazing. It seems my fellow nerds are all very kind (I received so many apologies because someone accidentally nudged me) and despite the turnout, I didn't feel claustrophobic at all. Of course, that's not what I really care about... I care about the cosplay. I certainly was not disappointed there. There were the standards, such as storm troopers and Naruto cosplayers, but there were others there as well (with extremely well crafted and elaborate outfits, let me tell you). I found someone do an amazing job of being Chibitalia from Hetalia, btw, which made me grin like a fool. God, I love that show. There was also some guy dressed up as Sailor Moon. Yes, a man in a short skirt and tiara with facial hair even. But he was really kind and posed for some epic pics with my sister. If only I had his confidence xD
Seriously though, the atmosphere was amazing. People were doing sword fights, there were CoD cosplayers with nerf guns shooting each other and people wearing 'glomp me' signs and actually getting hugged (and in some cases, tackled) by strangers and overall it was very jovial and fun. We were all acting like big children, really.
At one point I said "I have never felt more at home. These are my people," and my dad sniggered at me, but oh well. I know he secretly loved it, too. =P
Also, the cosplay show was full of my humour. The tech guy was hilarious, making "my, what a big sword you have" puns and making obscure references that only us geeks would get (I haven't heard someone (other than my close friends) make reference to seme and uke roles in a long time. Well, not including those I talk to online, of course).
It was brilliant.
Anyway, I've spent a good portion of the day wondering what I'm going to wear at next years show. I did a bit of people-watching today, so I have a better idea on what to wear... not that there's a dress code or anything. Basically, don't do things by half. I think I can deal with that.
My favourite choices are all male, sadly, though there's quite a few chicks to choose from as well. I'm thinking either Arthur/England or Gilbert/Prussia from Hetalia, Matt from Death Note, Rena or Hanyuu from Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni or maybe Angel from Angel Beats!.
My top choices are the three guys... if I have too much trouble with chest binding (that's going to be fun...) then I'll choose one of the girls. Hopefully that's not going to be a problem though.
Where the hell do you get bindings anyway? That's going to be an awkward question to ask mum... "Hey, help me get chest bindings."
Yeah, really not looking forward to that. =/
Well, I'm definitely wrong about that. The turnout at Supanova is always pretty epic. I wonder why we don't have more of these events...
Ah, anyway. It was nothing like what I expected, but it was also more than I expected (I know, that makes no sense). The stalls weren't as great as I wanted them to be (I still spent a good $200, but I was hoping to spend more, you know? There goes my 3DS money) but the crowds were amazing. It seems my fellow nerds are all very kind (I received so many apologies because someone accidentally nudged me) and despite the turnout, I didn't feel claustrophobic at all. Of course, that's not what I really care about... I care about the cosplay. I certainly was not disappointed there. There were the standards, such as storm troopers and Naruto cosplayers, but there were others there as well (with extremely well crafted and elaborate outfits, let me tell you). I found someone do an amazing job of being Chibitalia from Hetalia, btw, which made me grin like a fool. God, I love that show. There was also some guy dressed up as Sailor Moon. Yes, a man in a short skirt and tiara with facial hair even. But he was really kind and posed for some epic pics with my sister. If only I had his confidence xD
Seriously though, the atmosphere was amazing. People were doing sword fights, there were CoD cosplayers with nerf guns shooting each other and people wearing 'glomp me' signs and actually getting hugged (and in some cases, tackled) by strangers and overall it was very jovial and fun. We were all acting like big children, really.
At one point I said "I have never felt more at home. These are my people," and my dad sniggered at me, but oh well. I know he secretly loved it, too. =P
Also, the cosplay show was full of my humour. The tech guy was hilarious, making "my, what a big sword you have" puns and making obscure references that only us geeks would get (I haven't heard someone (other than my close friends) make reference to seme and uke roles in a long time. Well, not including those I talk to online, of course).
It was brilliant.
Anyway, I've spent a good portion of the day wondering what I'm going to wear at next years show. I did a bit of people-watching today, so I have a better idea on what to wear... not that there's a dress code or anything. Basically, don't do things by half. I think I can deal with that.
My favourite choices are all male, sadly, though there's quite a few chicks to choose from as well. I'm thinking either Arthur/England or Gilbert/Prussia from Hetalia, Matt from Death Note, Rena or Hanyuu from Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni or maybe Angel from Angel Beats!.
My top choices are the three guys... if I have too much trouble with chest binding (that's going to be fun...) then I'll choose one of the girls. Hopefully that's not going to be a problem though.
Where the hell do you get bindings anyway? That's going to be an awkward question to ask mum... "Hey, help me get chest bindings."
Yeah, really not looking forward to that. =/
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